1. Went to Vietnam with 40 family members and relatives of mine during Chinese New Year
2. Found my true love <3 br="br">3. Support two friends of mine who had been preparing hard for a big event called Bodhi Night
4. Got employed as an all-rounder in a bakery cafe even though i don't have experience in making coffee at all.
5. Gotta earn my own money. $$$
6. Can contact my besties from Malaysia and my relatives from Malaysia and Singapore more easily, thanks to Whatsapp Group Chatbox
7. Happy to have friends coming to Sydney quite regularly throughout the year and have wonderful time bringing them around Sydney
8. Happy that my brother is on whatsapp as well already
9. Happy that i have a gang of friends here who still willing to come out and gather in the middle of peak period.
10. Happy to know that there are still people who value sincerity.
12.22.2012
7.05.2012
Be contented
Don't be greedy. Be contented on what you have. Remember what you are asking for before you know the result. Don't tend to ask for more when you see a chance of getting something better. Don't get carried away by your own greediness. Be contented!
6.17.2012
感谢父亲
DEAR DADDY,
在对天下的爸爸那么重要的一个日子里, 身在远方的我还是不会忘了向你说声谢谢, 不是因为今天是父亲节所以才说, 而是聚集了所有的理由, 想在很有意义的这一天, 真心地说, 谢谢您, 爸爸!
从小到大, 您教会了我很多东西. 我会唱歌(最后还在一年级的华语歌唱比赛中得到冠军), 我会骑脚踏车, 我会大羽毛球, 我会写书法, 全都是因为有您的教导, 甚至是驾车, 也多谢您耐心的教导, 我才可以勉强地安全在路上行使. 更重要的是, 您一直以来都是我学习的好榜样. 也许您不知道, 其实我一直以来都有在观察与注意您的言行举止, 并从您身上学到了很多待人处事的方法及做人的道理.
一直以来, 您都有在为工作而忙, 为工作而烦恼. 一年365天, 您唯有真正休息的日子就是在新年的时候. 但我还是很感激您从不忘记抽空陪伴我们及带我们去旅行. 每个星期日早上, 我们一家人都会一起去吃早餐, 到现在我还是很喜欢这个tradition. HEHE! 一家人可以出去吃早餐, 对我来说是件很开心的事. 因此, 我都会尽量不错过它!吃完早餐后, 就算是有工作要做, 您还是会选择留在家里, 有时会闷到一直在睡觉, 但还是会坚持不去做工, 说是想要偷懒, 但其实是想要留在家里陪我们. =)
您是我们家里唯一的经济来源. 您做的工是需要靠劳力的; 赚回来的钱是血汗钱. 谢谢您无怨无悔地努力及脚踏实地赚钱养活我们, 并让我们拥有一个幸福, 美满及安稳的生活. 我现在还不会赚钱, 一定会养您及照顾您, 当然, 还有妈咪! (妈咪, 我知道您会和爸爸一起读这一篇文章,keke, 所以不用jealous, 两个都养!)
好了!我好像在写作文了. 原本只是想写几句而已, 结果越写就越多东西写. 现在也只是被迫停笔而已, 因为如果真的要写, 100页都写不完. 这证明了您对我们的爱实在是太多太多了! =)
父亲节快乐! 您年纪不小了, 所以要好好照顾身体哦! 健康很重要啊!不要操劳过度. 还有, 做自己能力范围内可以做到的事就可以了.人老了, 不得不认, 不然您就会忽略了很多您在这一个年纪需要注意的东西. 生理上老了没关系, 心灵上还是年轻的就可以了. 看见自己一年比一年老, 难免会想念年轻有为的自己. 但是, 在人生的每一个阶段, 都有值得享受及珍惜的福.
在此再次祝您父亲节快乐! 天天快快乐乐!
您漂亮的女儿 (hehe)
在对天下的爸爸那么重要的一个日子里, 身在远方的我还是不会忘了向你说声谢谢, 不是因为今天是父亲节所以才说, 而是聚集了所有的理由, 想在很有意义的这一天, 真心地说, 谢谢您, 爸爸!
从小到大, 您教会了我很多东西. 我会唱歌(最后还在一年级的华语歌唱比赛中得到冠军), 我会骑脚踏车, 我会大羽毛球, 我会写书法, 全都是因为有您的教导, 甚至是驾车, 也多谢您耐心的教导, 我才可以勉强地安全在路上行使. 更重要的是, 您一直以来都是我学习的好榜样. 也许您不知道, 其实我一直以来都有在观察与注意您的言行举止, 并从您身上学到了很多待人处事的方法及做人的道理.
一直以来, 您都有在为工作而忙, 为工作而烦恼. 一年365天, 您唯有真正休息的日子就是在新年的时候. 但我还是很感激您从不忘记抽空陪伴我们及带我们去旅行. 每个星期日早上, 我们一家人都会一起去吃早餐, 到现在我还是很喜欢这个tradition. HEHE! 一家人可以出去吃早餐, 对我来说是件很开心的事. 因此, 我都会尽量不错过它!吃完早餐后, 就算是有工作要做, 您还是会选择留在家里, 有时会闷到一直在睡觉, 但还是会坚持不去做工, 说是想要偷懒, 但其实是想要留在家里陪我们. =)
您是我们家里唯一的经济来源. 您做的工是需要靠劳力的; 赚回来的钱是血汗钱. 谢谢您无怨无悔地努力及脚踏实地赚钱养活我们, 并让我们拥有一个幸福, 美满及安稳的生活. 我现在还不会赚钱, 一定会养您及照顾您, 当然, 还有妈咪! (妈咪, 我知道您会和爸爸一起读这一篇文章,keke, 所以不用jealous, 两个都养!)
好了!我好像在写作文了. 原本只是想写几句而已, 结果越写就越多东西写. 现在也只是被迫停笔而已, 因为如果真的要写, 100页都写不完. 这证明了您对我们的爱实在是太多太多了! =)
父亲节快乐! 您年纪不小了, 所以要好好照顾身体哦! 健康很重要啊!不要操劳过度. 还有, 做自己能力范围内可以做到的事就可以了.人老了, 不得不认, 不然您就会忽略了很多您在这一个年纪需要注意的东西. 生理上老了没关系, 心灵上还是年轻的就可以了. 看见自己一年比一年老, 难免会想念年轻有为的自己. 但是, 在人生的每一个阶段, 都有值得享受及珍惜的福.
在此再次祝您父亲节快乐! 天天快快乐乐!
您漂亮的女儿 (hehe)
6.04.2012
Learning about Architecture
After all the mental preparation for a fail for my design studio subject, it turns out I didn’t fail. I got a pass and that’s enough to make me happy because they give me a chance to proceed to the next level in my study about architecture.
Chatted a while with my tutor before getting my result and she actually found out the reason why I fail to develop my ideas in a more advance level.
“Architecture is not math. There is no formulae on how you can design a building and it’s always about TRIAL AND ERROR. You will just have to keep designing and designing until you get the right sense of it.”
“Putting people in the space that you have created, showing how the space can be used doesn’t mean in real life people will use it that way. You will actually have to create the space in such the way that people will feel that that’s the way they can use the space.”
Architecture is not easy.
I started off don’t know anything about it and I’m not shown how to do the right thing starting from the beginning. In fact, there’s no right way of doing things in architecture. It’s all about feel and sense. Along the journey of learning about architecture, I fall, I got upset, I got demotivated and then I reflect and I rise again. And then I fall, I got upset, I got demotivated and then I reflect and then I rise again. It’s a cycle, an endless one. It required a lot of deep thinking and pondering which makes it so tiresome. I remember how torturing I feel and how reluctant I feel whenever I need to think about an idea for my design studio project. That’s the time when I posted the most negative status on facebook, if you realise.
However, if the right way is shown starting from the beginning, I bet I will never learn as much as I had now. If the right way is shown from the beginning, I will never explore and I will gradually lose the spirit to explore on new things which may lead me to new discoveries. If the right way is shown from the beginning, I will just stick to what I had taught to be the right way of doing things and when things go wrong, I will stuck. I think, we can learn the most when we explore something on our own. At least, this applies to me.
Architecture is not easy. I do think of giving up in becoming an architect before (because I don’t think I’m qualified) but thanks to fellow tutors and lecturers, now I see hope in it.
“Architecture can’t help to solve any problem. It can only provide a platform for a problem to be solved.”
“Architecture is about creating sense and being an architect is just like being an author of a book. You have to take control of everything to lead people to think or feel in the way of how you want them to think or feel. To do that, an author of a book plays with words and plots whereas an architect plays with proportion and arrangement of space.”
On last two week Architectural Technologies lecture, we actually had all our tutors each having around 5-10minutes time talk about their career as architects. It was really a useful session as it makes me feel like I’m getting closer to the world of architecture. There’re also advices given by tutors for us to keep in mind in our journey to become an architect.
“To be an architect, we must first become the scientists, only then can we be artists!”
“Creation is a patient search.”
“One thing common in all architects is they love to make things.”
I’m glad that I LEARNT A LOTS in this semester and in fact, in every semester. I don’t get good grades but I LEARNT and I GROW. That’s more important than anything. =)
Chatted a while with my tutor before getting my result and she actually found out the reason why I fail to develop my ideas in a more advance level.
“Architecture is not math. There is no formulae on how you can design a building and it’s always about TRIAL AND ERROR. You will just have to keep designing and designing until you get the right sense of it.”
“Putting people in the space that you have created, showing how the space can be used doesn’t mean in real life people will use it that way. You will actually have to create the space in such the way that people will feel that that’s the way they can use the space.”
Architecture is not easy.
I started off don’t know anything about it and I’m not shown how to do the right thing starting from the beginning. In fact, there’s no right way of doing things in architecture. It’s all about feel and sense. Along the journey of learning about architecture, I fall, I got upset, I got demotivated and then I reflect and I rise again. And then I fall, I got upset, I got demotivated and then I reflect and then I rise again. It’s a cycle, an endless one. It required a lot of deep thinking and pondering which makes it so tiresome. I remember how torturing I feel and how reluctant I feel whenever I need to think about an idea for my design studio project. That’s the time when I posted the most negative status on facebook, if you realise.
However, if the right way is shown starting from the beginning, I bet I will never learn as much as I had now. If the right way is shown from the beginning, I will never explore and I will gradually lose the spirit to explore on new things which may lead me to new discoveries. If the right way is shown from the beginning, I will just stick to what I had taught to be the right way of doing things and when things go wrong, I will stuck. I think, we can learn the most when we explore something on our own. At least, this applies to me.
Architecture is not easy. I do think of giving up in becoming an architect before (because I don’t think I’m qualified) but thanks to fellow tutors and lecturers, now I see hope in it.
“Architecture can’t help to solve any problem. It can only provide a platform for a problem to be solved.”
“Architecture is about creating sense and being an architect is just like being an author of a book. You have to take control of everything to lead people to think or feel in the way of how you want them to think or feel. To do that, an author of a book plays with words and plots whereas an architect plays with proportion and arrangement of space.”
On last two week Architectural Technologies lecture, we actually had all our tutors each having around 5-10minutes time talk about their career as architects. It was really a useful session as it makes me feel like I’m getting closer to the world of architecture. There’re also advices given by tutors for us to keep in mind in our journey to become an architect.
“To be an architect, we must first become the scientists, only then can we be artists!”
“Creation is a patient search.”
“One thing common in all architects is they love to make things.”
I’m glad that I LEARNT A LOTS in this semester and in fact, in every semester. I don’t get good grades but I LEARNT and I GROW. That’s more important than anything. =)
No promise yet
For this kind of decision-making, I have to listen very dearly to my heart. Others’ opinions can only be references to me. I have to make the decision myself because after all, I’m the one who will have to live with it.
After so many years, I am being put into almost the same situation again except for this time, I have less excuses to say no. After so many years, I have grown up. I have the capability to deal with this kind of matter better. Instead of thinking after doing, I think more before I do. In this case, I guess it’s good because I will be more ready to accept what is going to happen.
You are not bad at all. In fact, we are very similar in a lot of ways but still, I’m not going to give it go for now because my past experiences tell me a relationship can’t start from a ‘virtual’ one. Interaction and communication is more than just keeping in touch with each other. There are a lot more than that that makes interaction with every single person we met special in their own ways. Technology can replace the everyday face to face and real interaction that I strongly insist on having before I can consider saying yes. I might miss you in the end but I would rather miss it than having me to screw you when you have gotten much deeper than now.
Anyway, thank you for choosing me and thank you for wanting to know more about me. But still, I won’t promise you anything. I have to and I am going to be very firm with this this time.
After so many years, I am being put into almost the same situation again except for this time, I have less excuses to say no. After so many years, I have grown up. I have the capability to deal with this kind of matter better. Instead of thinking after doing, I think more before I do. In this case, I guess it’s good because I will be more ready to accept what is going to happen.
You are not bad at all. In fact, we are very similar in a lot of ways but still, I’m not going to give it go for now because my past experiences tell me a relationship can’t start from a ‘virtual’ one. Interaction and communication is more than just keeping in touch with each other. There are a lot more than that that makes interaction with every single person we met special in their own ways. Technology can replace the everyday face to face and real interaction that I strongly insist on having before I can consider saying yes. I might miss you in the end but I would rather miss it than having me to screw you when you have gotten much deeper than now.
Anyway, thank you for choosing me and thank you for wanting to know more about me. But still, I won’t promise you anything. I have to and I am going to be very firm with this this time.
Life is Good
Overall, life is good to me recently. Firstly, I keep getting free stuffs recently and they are all unexpected. I got free ticket to go for Jayesless Concert on the day I submitted my final presentation sheet and model. I got a free breakfast from a friend of mine who had extra just because it’s cheap. I got free Max Brenner mocha from a senior of mine when I accompany him to get a drink for himself after seeing him being so stress up with his work. I got treated sushi for lunch as I helped a friend of mine with his axonometric drawing and I got treated for dinner for willing to spare some time to attend my super seniors’ graduation. All of a sudden, so many free meals and stuffs! It feels great to be treated with free things but I did feel guilty as well because it’s always people treating me and I’m not treating anyone. Hmmmm....
Secondly, life is good to me recently because I feel being showered with love and care from friends and family. Once in a while, I have friends poking me, some saying hi or hi fan shu and some asking me how are you today. I have friends who like the same kind of music with me, so once in a while, I have friends recommending my type of songs to me which is enough to make my day sometimes. Some mornings, I have a friend who will greet me morning and I will greet back and sometimes, give him motivation to start in a bread new day. At times when I am depressed with my work, I have a friend who will just send a random short message to me saying “ onemeiliansia”. Haha. That’s enough to brighten up my mood. Once in a while, I got motivation from my friends telling me to gambateh with my work and they make me feel loved.
Thirdly, life is good recently because I had watched two very meaningful and heart-warming animes, one is Usagi Drop, and one is HanasakuIroha. There are valuable messages I learnt from those two animes and I am considering rewatching them because they are good reminder to the way I should lead my life.
Should be lastly, life is good to me because I see happiness in my elder brother. My elder bro just appear on newspaper recently. An interview was conducted with him recently, asking him how actually he can make money while studying. I like the answer he gave for the whole interview. That’s my gorgor! I’m so proud of him, not just for his success, but for the values and principles that he holds on to all this while. He’s a good role model for me and my younger brother. I’m happy to see my gorgor being so sweet with his girlfriend as well. Awhhh... the sweet couple! They are just so lovely. I am happy that they had actually found each other.
Oh yeah! Life is good recently!^^
Secondly, life is good to me recently because I feel being showered with love and care from friends and family. Once in a while, I have friends poking me, some saying hi or hi fan shu and some asking me how are you today. I have friends who like the same kind of music with me, so once in a while, I have friends recommending my type of songs to me which is enough to make my day sometimes. Some mornings, I have a friend who will greet me morning and I will greet back and sometimes, give him motivation to start in a bread new day. At times when I am depressed with my work, I have a friend who will just send a random short message to me saying “ onemeiliansia”. Haha. That’s enough to brighten up my mood. Once in a while, I got motivation from my friends telling me to gambateh with my work and they make me feel loved.
Thirdly, life is good recently because I had watched two very meaningful and heart-warming animes, one is Usagi Drop, and one is HanasakuIroha. There are valuable messages I learnt from those two animes and I am considering rewatching them because they are good reminder to the way I should lead my life.
Should be lastly, life is good to me because I see happiness in my elder brother. My elder bro just appear on newspaper recently. An interview was conducted with him recently, asking him how actually he can make money while studying. I like the answer he gave for the whole interview. That’s my gorgor! I’m so proud of him, not just for his success, but for the values and principles that he holds on to all this while. He’s a good role model for me and my younger brother. I’m happy to see my gorgor being so sweet with his girlfriend as well. Awhhh... the sweet couple! They are just so lovely. I am happy that they had actually found each other.
Oh yeah! Life is good recently!^^
5.29.2012
Failing won't be that bad, trust me.
Though I did learn something from it, it doesn’t mean they can not fail me for not being able to fulfil the requirement. This isn’t the time to be optimistic anymore because there’s really a big chance that I will fail and being optimistic will only mean I’m trying to deny the possibility of failing.
What’s so scarrying about failing? Actually, I’m not really afraid of it. Failing just simply means I fail to learn what I’m supposed to learn from the course and it’s reasonable enough to be asked to redo the course because I haven’t get what they want me to get from the course. Restudy the course is not that bad actually because I am given a chance to make use of what I supposed I have learnt last time to design a space or a building again. How about dealing with friends, family and my relatives? Somehow, I don’t feel the shame of letting them know I had actually failed. I’m quite sure they won’t judge me for that but even if they do, I’m fine with it because I believe failing for once or even more than once doesn’t mean I’m a failure. I just fail to learn what they want me to learn in the given period of time. What about all the effort that I had put in in developing the project for the whole semester? A lot of people think that the amount of effort should tally with the result they get but for me, it’s fine to be the opposite, which is after putting in a lot of effort in doing something, result still bad. I’m more concern about getting things right. Having to do lots of work doesn’t freak me out as long as I know the reason I’m doing them.
Right now, I’m trying to get myself well-prepared to be told I have failed but the worry is still there. I don’t wish to tell anyone because there’s nothing they can do to make me feel better. It’s only until the result is out, which is next week, then only I will feel relieve. I don’t wish to tell partly also because I don’t need any sympathy from anyone. Failing in this course doesn’t equal to failure in my life. I’m certain I have been growing up bit by bit throughout the course. I’m getting stronger.
What’s so scarrying about failing? Actually, I’m not really afraid of it. Failing just simply means I fail to learn what I’m supposed to learn from the course and it’s reasonable enough to be asked to redo the course because I haven’t get what they want me to get from the course. Restudy the course is not that bad actually because I am given a chance to make use of what I supposed I have learnt last time to design a space or a building again. How about dealing with friends, family and my relatives? Somehow, I don’t feel the shame of letting them know I had actually failed. I’m quite sure they won’t judge me for that but even if they do, I’m fine with it because I believe failing for once or even more than once doesn’t mean I’m a failure. I just fail to learn what they want me to learn in the given period of time. What about all the effort that I had put in in developing the project for the whole semester? A lot of people think that the amount of effort should tally with the result they get but for me, it’s fine to be the opposite, which is after putting in a lot of effort in doing something, result still bad. I’m more concern about getting things right. Having to do lots of work doesn’t freak me out as long as I know the reason I’m doing them.
Right now, I’m trying to get myself well-prepared to be told I have failed but the worry is still there. I don’t wish to tell anyone because there’s nothing they can do to make me feel better. It’s only until the result is out, which is next week, then only I will feel relieve. I don’t wish to tell partly also because I don’t need any sympathy from anyone. Failing in this course doesn’t equal to failure in my life. I’m certain I have been growing up bit by bit throughout the course. I’m getting stronger.
5.26.2012
Random Thoughts
There are moments in my life when all of a sudden, I change from being certain of something to being very unsure about everything.
Using social networking website to keep in contact with friends can only partially compensate the real interaction that we had every day because from social networking website, we only see what our friends choose to share there and if they don’t share, it doesn’t mean there’s something else going on at their place and in their minds. To best way to understand someone is to live with them but this is not going to be easy because everything is now revealed and TOLERATION is what we need to practise but that’s definitely not easy at all.
There is no way of being yourself all the times. Sometimes you can be yourself, sometimes you gotta allow others to be themselves as well.
In a family, each member will have their own vision and mission. We set off to strive for them, WITH support from each other. This is how things should be. I think. And we feel happy for each other when things turn out well for them and actually, happier than we reach our target.
Sometimes, when I emo, I really wish to find someone to talk but I don’t do so because i just don’t want to trouble others. Sometimes, I feel like going out for a walk with someone but I eventually I didn’t ask anyone for that because I will think others might not actually want to go and if he/she goes, it would be just for the sake of me asking him/her to go. If someone comes at the moment when I’m having this kind of feeling, I will mostly probably talk to him/her about it and that will make me feel better. Expecting someone to come to me when I’m down is out of my control. But if I can turn that into something that I can do for others, I think that would be helpful. So, I shouldn’t have wait for others to talk to me first starting from now but I should take the initiative to care more about my friends and family. I might not be the one that others want to talk to all of the time but at least there’s a chance of being able to help someone.
All these random thoughts come when I’m emo. I don’t like the feeling of being emo but what I find out is that, I can only come out with all these thoughts when I’m emo. I guess this is good. When things don’t happen the way I hope it will be, I will start to have negative feelings and emo but it’s only when things go against me, then only I got the chance to ponder on a lot of things in life. So, after all, emo is not that bad. It helps me grow.
Using social networking website to keep in contact with friends can only partially compensate the real interaction that we had every day because from social networking website, we only see what our friends choose to share there and if they don’t share, it doesn’t mean there’s something else going on at their place and in their minds. To best way to understand someone is to live with them but this is not going to be easy because everything is now revealed and TOLERATION is what we need to practise but that’s definitely not easy at all.
There is no way of being yourself all the times. Sometimes you can be yourself, sometimes you gotta allow others to be themselves as well.
In a family, each member will have their own vision and mission. We set off to strive for them, WITH support from each other. This is how things should be. I think. And we feel happy for each other when things turn out well for them and actually, happier than we reach our target.
Sometimes, when I emo, I really wish to find someone to talk but I don’t do so because i just don’t want to trouble others. Sometimes, I feel like going out for a walk with someone but I eventually I didn’t ask anyone for that because I will think others might not actually want to go and if he/she goes, it would be just for the sake of me asking him/her to go. If someone comes at the moment when I’m having this kind of feeling, I will mostly probably talk to him/her about it and that will make me feel better. Expecting someone to come to me when I’m down is out of my control. But if I can turn that into something that I can do for others, I think that would be helpful. So, I shouldn’t have wait for others to talk to me first starting from now but I should take the initiative to care more about my friends and family. I might not be the one that others want to talk to all of the time but at least there’s a chance of being able to help someone.
All these random thoughts come when I’m emo. I don’t like the feeling of being emo but what I find out is that, I can only come out with all these thoughts when I’m emo. I guess this is good. When things don’t happen the way I hope it will be, I will start to have negative feelings and emo but it’s only when things go against me, then only I got the chance to ponder on a lot of things in life. So, after all, emo is not that bad. It helps me grow.
5.17.2012
Loved
" I know you are tired already. Take a rest ba. "Sometimes, what I need is just someone who sees and knows that I'm tired after a fierce battle with my assignment for the whole day. This is much more heart-warming than having me to mention about my tiredness and then the person says " I know how you feel right now. Take a rest ba. " The formal can definitely give me strength to continue working even if I'm exhausted already because I feel loved just having people to be sensitive enough to sense my tiredness. Although I seldom find problem in pushing myself forward more, sometimes, I still wish there's someone out there who will motivate me to do work because i just want to feel loved.
5.11.2012
Discoveries
Recently, because of piles of assignments with close submission dates, days feel like yearsssss for me, not because working on assignments is a boring activity, but racing with time and getting work done one after another within a short period of time just make me feel that time has moved on a lot.
Anyway, those assignments somehow also make me finally realise that companionship is really important in our life. Being super busy with assignments lately, I haven’t actually had any real conversation with anyone. I’m using every hour, every minute and every second I had to work on my assignments. I worked in my room all the time or sometimes just work in the uni, but with my earphone on (sometimes no music is playing) because I can’t afford to have anyone to distract me when I’m trying to focus (I’m not a multi-tasking person).
Working really hard until certain point, I do feel tired and really feel like going out with friends and have a good conversation with them. BUT, at the same time, I don’t want to purposely find someone just to talk and go out with. I don’t like trying to make things out and I prefer it to come naturally. I do have people that come and approach me and want to make a conversation with me but I don’t feel like talking with them. This is so 矛盾of me. Prolly, the kind of conversation that I’m looking for at that moment is something about things I like. Yea. I think it is because I remembered I scrolled through FB News Feed searching for good songs shared by friends or interesting horoscope readings or thoughtful quotes but there is not much I can find.
At the time I feel a need to connect to people in real life but can’t find it, I resort to Facebook, the only social networking website that I am using but the fact is, Facebook can never replace the real connection and interaction that we can have with people in real life. I’m not putting much hope when scrolling through FB because it has been clear in my mind since my last emo period that I shouldn’t rely too much on FB anymore.
The discovery of the need to read about something that I like to fill the emptiness I have in some time of my life somehow makes me realise about another thing which I used to not being able to understand the need of doing it. I used to not feeling the need to keep myself updated with anything. If yes, that’s only for the fact that I’m living in a real world and I can’t be not aware of the environment that I’m living in. But, if I could keep myself updated about things that I like, it can be something that get me excited about my life again. Yea! I should start following websites, blogs or anything that can provide me information about things that I like. They can also provide me the sense of engagement or involvement in my life. They can make me more engage in my life.
I’m not sure how I come to this stage of discovering so many things and values in life but I’m happy that I had. I LOVE MY LIFE no matter what. ^^
Anyway, those assignments somehow also make me finally realise that companionship is really important in our life. Being super busy with assignments lately, I haven’t actually had any real conversation with anyone. I’m using every hour, every minute and every second I had to work on my assignments. I worked in my room all the time or sometimes just work in the uni, but with my earphone on (sometimes no music is playing) because I can’t afford to have anyone to distract me when I’m trying to focus (I’m not a multi-tasking person).
Working really hard until certain point, I do feel tired and really feel like going out with friends and have a good conversation with them. BUT, at the same time, I don’t want to purposely find someone just to talk and go out with. I don’t like trying to make things out and I prefer it to come naturally. I do have people that come and approach me and want to make a conversation with me but I don’t feel like talking with them. This is so 矛盾of me. Prolly, the kind of conversation that I’m looking for at that moment is something about things I like. Yea. I think it is because I remembered I scrolled through FB News Feed searching for good songs shared by friends or interesting horoscope readings or thoughtful quotes but there is not much I can find.
At the time I feel a need to connect to people in real life but can’t find it, I resort to Facebook, the only social networking website that I am using but the fact is, Facebook can never replace the real connection and interaction that we can have with people in real life. I’m not putting much hope when scrolling through FB because it has been clear in my mind since my last emo period that I shouldn’t rely too much on FB anymore.
The discovery of the need to read about something that I like to fill the emptiness I have in some time of my life somehow makes me realise about another thing which I used to not being able to understand the need of doing it. I used to not feeling the need to keep myself updated with anything. If yes, that’s only for the fact that I’m living in a real world and I can’t be not aware of the environment that I’m living in. But, if I could keep myself updated about things that I like, it can be something that get me excited about my life again. Yea! I should start following websites, blogs or anything that can provide me information about things that I like. They can also provide me the sense of engagement or involvement in my life. They can make me more engage in my life.
I’m not sure how I come to this stage of discovering so many things and values in life but I’m happy that I had. I LOVE MY LIFE no matter what. ^^
5.07.2012
A little to say after EMO
Apparently, I had gone through a very down moment last few days. A lot of negative emotions I had and this is making some of my friends worry about me because it's just so not me at all. Anyway, now i'm out and there are a few things that i would like to say before i forget about them.
When things screw up one followed by another, stop it and start again. You can always start from tidying up your room, your files, your bag. Go get a good shower and do remember to have proper meals too.
When you are in a super emo state, what you need is actually attention and care from your friends. BUT, don't go to Facebook to seek for them. It most probably will get you into a worse condition especially when no one actually responds to your postS. Go straight away to your friends. Tell them. I need some support from you now.
I just got my interim presentation result back. Not be shy to say, i just got a PASS. It's dissappointing for the first few second when i saw the P, but I know I didn't screw this myself. I did put effort in making it the best presentation that i can come out with for that moment. Don't let the result to pull you down. Poeple judge you by your result, but you shouldn't do so to yourself. Judge yourself by evaluating the effort that you have put in in completing the task that you are given.
When things screw up one followed by another, stop it and start again. You can always start from tidying up your room, your files, your bag. Go get a good shower and do remember to have proper meals too.
When you are in a super emo state, what you need is actually attention and care from your friends. BUT, don't go to Facebook to seek for them. It most probably will get you into a worse condition especially when no one actually responds to your postS. Go straight away to your friends. Tell them. I need some support from you now.
I just got my interim presentation result back. Not be shy to say, i just got a PASS. It's dissappointing for the first few second when i saw the P, but I know I didn't screw this myself. I did put effort in making it the best presentation that i can come out with for that moment. Don't let the result to pull you down. Poeple judge you by your result, but you shouldn't do so to yourself. Judge yourself by evaluating the effort that you have put in in completing the task that you are given.
4.23.2012
Support
Sometimes, all I need is just some mental and physical support. Facebook is a good place to get the formal support. I did this when I was down and I saw my friends and family members do that. It doesn't help to solve the problem but it helps in motivating me to move on.
I feel loved. Thanks, friends!<3
ps though i do feel myself being very annoying as i keep posting negative status on FB.
I feel loved. Thanks, friends!<3
ps though i do feel myself being very annoying as i keep posting negative status on FB.
4.06.2012
First Clubbing Experience
My first clubbing experience, overall is average. I enjoy the music the most... I like the rhythm, the beat...I just let myself flow with the music, dance however i think it is appropriate. I'm quite shy at the beginning but when everyone starts to do the same thing, I get the courage to have a bigger movement in my dance...DON'T image that I'm dancing like those pro dancers in "Step Up"... I have super duper limited dance movement and I really wish I can come out with more movements and something more creative...Liquor drinking, beer drinking... nahhh... they are not really my concern when i was there... For me, they are quite expensive actually... $4 for a bottle of beer before 12am and $7 after 12am... I don't really want to spend on them... but I do interested in training myself to become a better drinker...hihi
This clubbing experience of mine is different from the version that I have been imagining about. Despite my gradual courage in being more engage in dancing, the sense of awkwardness had never reduced. Probably the dance floor is not crowded enough to make whoever is there to at least move with the music; Probably the club is just too small and it makes me feel constrained; Probably there's a lack of interaction or "mo qi" with friends that I'm dancing with. Hmmmm....
It's kind of a good experience in clubbing that I had tonight but it's not a place that I will go very frequent in the future, not only because I find it a dangerous place to go to but also i think it's not a place where my money is worth to spend at. okay la. That's it. I'm lazy to blog about this already.
This clubbing experience of mine is different from the version that I have been imagining about. Despite my gradual courage in being more engage in dancing, the sense of awkwardness had never reduced. Probably the dance floor is not crowded enough to make whoever is there to at least move with the music; Probably the club is just too small and it makes me feel constrained; Probably there's a lack of interaction or "mo qi" with friends that I'm dancing with. Hmmmm....
It's kind of a good experience in clubbing that I had tonight but it's not a place that I will go very frequent in the future, not only because I find it a dangerous place to go to but also i think it's not a place where my money is worth to spend at. okay la. That's it. I'm lazy to blog about this already.
3.31.2012
The History of My Diary
I started blogging simply to explore and try blogging as it’s becoming more and more popular among my friends, but, I got bored about it very soon after I created one and abandoned it as I just don’t have any interesting experience to write about and I don’t think I can write as good as others. My blog posts are just like essays!!! > <
Then, somehow I got the motivation to blog again. This time is due to my intention in recording some memorable events in my life and to share my feelings and thoughts with others, but, again, pity my blog as I abandoned it again. I still feel embarrass sharing my stories in bad-written texts. They are full of grammar mistakes and I always fail to put down my thoughts in words due to my very limited vocab and very uncreative alterations in sentence structure and most importantly, don’t really know what I want to bring out through my blog posts actually. Poor blog but from the reason I abandon her, it’s kind of reflect the me who cares about self-image a lot. I just don’t wish to let others see my weakness.
Oh! and NOW! I blog much more frequent than last time already. I blog to analyse my thoughts. Blogging help me to calm myself down when I’m frustrated because it will help to rationalise my thoughts. I also blog when I just want to talk about my problems, let my blog readers to know what’s happening on me but I don’t hope for any solutions. If I want solutions, advices or supports, I will be on FACEBOOK or I will talk straight away to the person I want to talk to. I don’t care about grammar mistakes in my blog posts anymore. I don’t care about how others are going to think about my blog and me anymore. THAT’S ME. You can’t say I can’t be ME. I got the right to be myself. You can judge but I DON’T MIND anymore. I know how to judge myself.
Yeah! That’s it. The History of My Diary.
Then, somehow I got the motivation to blog again. This time is due to my intention in recording some memorable events in my life and to share my feelings and thoughts with others, but, again, pity my blog as I abandoned it again. I still feel embarrass sharing my stories in bad-written texts. They are full of grammar mistakes and I always fail to put down my thoughts in words due to my very limited vocab and very uncreative alterations in sentence structure and most importantly, don’t really know what I want to bring out through my blog posts actually. Poor blog but from the reason I abandon her, it’s kind of reflect the me who cares about self-image a lot. I just don’t wish to let others see my weakness.
Oh! and NOW! I blog much more frequent than last time already. I blog to analyse my thoughts. Blogging help me to calm myself down when I’m frustrated because it will help to rationalise my thoughts. I also blog when I just want to talk about my problems, let my blog readers to know what’s happening on me but I don’t hope for any solutions. If I want solutions, advices or supports, I will be on FACEBOOK or I will talk straight away to the person I want to talk to. I don’t care about grammar mistakes in my blog posts anymore. I don’t care about how others are going to think about my blog and me anymore. THAT’S ME. You can’t say I can’t be ME. I got the right to be myself. You can judge but I DON’T MIND anymore. I know how to judge myself.
Yeah! That’s it. The History of My Diary.
Time traveling?haha
Since the day I come back from Malaysia, I have been not very sure about where am I when I wake up from sleep in the morning. For the first few seconds after I wake up, I will be wrestling with myself, trying to figure out whether I’m at home, the REAL home or not. This is weird. I had never experience this kind of situation before until this year. Am I missing home too much to the extent that I can’t feel it myself or is that because my room here is making me feeling at home? OR... something else? like... TIME TRAVELING? Haha
Ps: don’t really know why time traveling but that’s the word that pop up in my mind when I thought of something else, probably because time traveller will not know where they will be every time he/she experiences time travel. Time travel really exists? Hmmm...
Ps: don’t really know why time traveling but that’s the word that pop up in my mind when I thought of something else, probably because time traveller will not know where they will be every time he/she experiences time travel. Time travel really exists? Hmmm...
3.27.2012
Can the time just pass slower?
When problems come, what I need is actually time to think deeper about it, find ways to get myself up again but with the constantly having assignments and design work due every week student life that I have, I will just have to get going with the problems still there bordering me all the time which makes me feel worse each day.
When problems come, I would need to have some time to gather my thoughts and put them down into words as I can do a better analysis on the problems that I am facing through writing. Can you give me time? Can you make the time pass slower?
When problems come, I would need to have some time to gather my thoughts and put them down into words as I can do a better analysis on the problems that I am facing through writing. Can you give me time? Can you make the time pass slower?
3.26.2012
small group rather than big group
It’s always more comfortable to go out in a small group rather than a big group of them. Four people and above is considered as a big group for me already. I can be talking a lot when going out with a big group of friends but it just won’t make me feel as comfortable as talking and walking with just one or two friends. I just don’t like being too focusing on talking to one of the friends among the group as it causes me to have to sort of ‘ignore’ the presence of others which I am afraid will lead to someone feeling being left out. I don’t really like being unaware of the presence of the left-outers. I don’t know why there will always be a strong sense of obligation in me in making sure of no one will feel left-out when we are out in a group. I will fail to do if I’m too engaged in talking. As the obligation of ensuring everyone is enjoying the big outing is pushing me so hard, often, I can only put 50% of my attention when involve in a conversation which will make me feel guilty again. Probably this is very weird for you but that’s just how I feel. I feel being insincere if I don’t pay full attention to what others are saying. Sometimes, it’s tiring to have to be kept pressing by the obligation but I just can’t stop myself from doing that. To avoid the ‘obligation’ and therefore the ‘ tiredness’ and ‘guilty’, I would just prefer going out with one or two friends rather than a big group of friends. It’s quite common to have silent moment when there are less people going out together but that’s still fine for me. I don’t need them to talk a lot or trying very hard to make conversation. I just need them to be themselves when they are with me.
3.24.2012
Birthday celebrations
Celebrated two friends’ birthday tonight. I was the one suggested to have the celebration and planned for it. Still, I’m not a good planner. I could have ideas on how to celebrate, what presents to buy, how to make card (provided I know the person good enough) but when things don’t turn out the way I want it to, I won’t be able to solve it immediately. Often, I will have to think for quite a long time to come out with a solution. Maybe that’s my problem in making decisions as in deciding what are the things that I should put priority on. Or I’m still not confident enough to make decision especially when it will affect others’ feeling. And maybe I am still inexperience in planning an event. But luckily for today’s celebrations, I got a lot of friends assisted me to make my plan go well. I like the co-operation that we had to make things out but it could be better if we can have more communication so that everyone will be clear on the flow of the whole celebration.
This is quite a big celebration. There were all together 21 person. It’s a large number of ppl for me. I didn’t like to have big celebration actually. We will definitely be separated into small groups and this looks so un-united. What is worse is that, sometimes, some people will be left out and I would really feel sorry for her/him. And that’s why, I will tend to talk to all my friends when I attend an event together with them. I will make sure that I do that even more when I’m the one who organise the event. But hor, that will make me feel guilty as I will feel that I’m being insincere if I’m just trying to make conversation with them. Hmmm...
This is not a very satisfying celebration overall and I’m not sure whether my purpose of doing it can be felt by the birthday girl and birthday boy but still, I don’t lose the passion in planning more in the future though it’s a bit tiring and time-consuming. I am planning it with no hopping of getting anything in return. I just hope that people around me will feel that they are being cared, being loved and they are not loners in the world.
I have already had plans in my mind for my family and friends during some special occasions. But I got the problem of just thinking but not taking action when it comes to planning celebrations and giving surprises to those dear to me. No no no! This time I must take action.
This is quite a big celebration. There were all together 21 person. It’s a large number of ppl for me. I didn’t like to have big celebration actually. We will definitely be separated into small groups and this looks so un-united. What is worse is that, sometimes, some people will be left out and I would really feel sorry for her/him. And that’s why, I will tend to talk to all my friends when I attend an event together with them. I will make sure that I do that even more when I’m the one who organise the event. But hor, that will make me feel guilty as I will feel that I’m being insincere if I’m just trying to make conversation with them. Hmmm...
This is not a very satisfying celebration overall and I’m not sure whether my purpose of doing it can be felt by the birthday girl and birthday boy but still, I don’t lose the passion in planning more in the future though it’s a bit tiring and time-consuming. I am planning it with no hopping of getting anything in return. I just hope that people around me will feel that they are being cared, being loved and they are not loners in the world.
I have already had plans in my mind for my family and friends during some special occasions. But I got the problem of just thinking but not taking action when it comes to planning celebrations and giving surprises to those dear to me. No no no! This time I must take action.
3.18.2012
BELIEVE
Architecture might not be the thing that I wanna to do the most in my life. I like designing but maybe not a building which is actually something too heavy for me. but somehow, i'm still trying my best to learn it because i believe there're things about architecture that i will like and still awaiting for me to discover them. It's always the belief that pull me through a lot of obstacles in my life. I don't know where I got the strength from but i just BELIEVE.
Unexpected meeting
Sometimes, miracle can just happen on a very unexpected occasion and at a very unexpected place.
Hair fall problem is troubling me recently. Lost 26 hairs when i comb after taking a shower and everytime i comb my hair, at least 4 hairs will fall. Counting all the hairs that i had lost everyday, it's estimated that I lost average 70 hairs a day. =( This is BAD & WORRYING! I don't want to be botak!
However, miracle happened when I was feeling so upset about my hair. I met a chinese doctor when i was having lunch in my uni cafeteria. He saw all the health problems that i was having for that time. Not only hair fall problem, but also frequent headache. He not only helped me to solve my frequent headache problem by adjusting my neckbone and telling me to change the way i sleep which is the cause of headache, he also gave me solutions for solving my hairfall problem. THIS IS ALL FREE. Usually, a consultation with him will cause the patient $100++.
Though some people might thought that it's a hoax, what he said don't sound wrong to me and i think the solution he gave is worth a try. So, from today onwards, I'm gonna have more oat, porridge, rice, green leaves vegetables, kiwi, green apple, black beans, green beans, barli and I'll try to avoid having oily and spicy food as much as i can. This is to strengthen my liver and kidney systems which are the causes of my hair fall problem. If it's really working, I'm gonna thank him in person. =)
This is a very unexpected meeting with a very unexpected person in a very unexpected place. How lucky I am!=)
Hair fall problem is troubling me recently. Lost 26 hairs when i comb after taking a shower and everytime i comb my hair, at least 4 hairs will fall. Counting all the hairs that i had lost everyday, it's estimated that I lost average 70 hairs a day. =( This is BAD & WORRYING! I don't want to be botak!
However, miracle happened when I was feeling so upset about my hair. I met a chinese doctor when i was having lunch in my uni cafeteria. He saw all the health problems that i was having for that time. Not only hair fall problem, but also frequent headache. He not only helped me to solve my frequent headache problem by adjusting my neckbone and telling me to change the way i sleep which is the cause of headache, he also gave me solutions for solving my hairfall problem. THIS IS ALL FREE. Usually, a consultation with him will cause the patient $100++.
Though some people might thought that it's a hoax, what he said don't sound wrong to me and i think the solution he gave is worth a try. So, from today onwards, I'm gonna have more oat, porridge, rice, green leaves vegetables, kiwi, green apple, black beans, green beans, barli and I'll try to avoid having oily and spicy food as much as i can. This is to strengthen my liver and kidney systems which are the causes of my hair fall problem. If it's really working, I'm gonna thank him in person. =)
This is a very unexpected meeting with a very unexpected person in a very unexpected place. How lucky I am!=)
3.05.2012
lonely?Am I?
When I arrived at the Lecture theatre for the first lecture I was gonna have after a three-month break, I saw everyone saying "Hi" to their friends. Silently, I walked to the crowd and then followed the crowd to enter the lecture theatre.
After lecture but before tutorial starts, I sat alone on the chairs outside on the second year studio to have oranges. Then a new friend of mine who has just transfered from Newcastle passed by and asked me " How come you look so lonely?"
Am I?
Somtimes I do. But, it's not because that I have no friends but I still haven't found a new friend or friends in my course that will stick around with me and go anywhere together with me.
Anyway, maybe is because I never tell that I need someone to accompany me, that's why no one is doing that. I duno. Maybe I should at least tell. =)
After lecture but before tutorial starts, I sat alone on the chairs outside on the second year studio to have oranges. Then a new friend of mine who has just transfered from Newcastle passed by and asked me " How come you look so lonely?"
Am I?
Somtimes I do. But, it's not because that I have no friends but I still haven't found a new friend or friends in my course that will stick around with me and go anywhere together with me.
Anyway, maybe is because I never tell that I need someone to accompany me, that's why no one is doing that. I duno. Maybe I should at least tell. =)
2.26.2012
Sorry
Sorry for not talking much most of the time
Sorry for having you to start the conversation most of the time
Sorry for letting you down by not giving you the response that you expect from me
Sorry for not being concern enough about you and I'll try my best to improve this
Sorry
忍
人越长越大, 看到的东西就越来越多. 以前的忍, 都是很不服气的忍, 所以常常在忍耐着的时候, 都会有很想哭的感觉. 现在的忍, 应该算是比较成熟的忍了. 忍耐着的当儿, 我会尝试推测或找出事发背后的原因, 再在适当的时候, 说几句话来平息整个场合. 但很多时候, 我都难免会表露出黑到像炭的脸.
2.23.2012
失眠
很多时候, 当我躺在床上后, 很快的, 我就能熟睡了. 因为我从没留意, 到底人是怎么才会睡着的, 所以搞到我现在失眠时, 不知道要怎么哄自己入睡. 我好像已经忘记了要怎么睡觉!! >.<
我尝试了各种方法来哄自己入睡--听音乐, 反复地告诉自己要睡觉了, 喝少少酒希望可以受到酒精的刺激,头疼然后睡去, 玩电子游戏. 这些方法通通都无法让我乖乖地睡觉去. T.T. 我躺在床上时, 头脑就是一直在想东西. 我在床上左翻右翻; 时而觉得热, 时而感到有点冷; 我一下把被单踢到老远的, 一下又把被盖上. 更可恶的是, 我整个晚上都被那讨人厌的蚊子骚扰, 真是beh tahan!! 我都跟你说我很讨厌你咯, 蚊子!你还是要死缠烂打, 真是气死人!!
好啦!又睡不到觉了...
我尝试了各种方法来哄自己入睡--听音乐, 反复地告诉自己要睡觉了, 喝少少酒希望可以受到酒精的刺激,头疼然后睡去, 玩电子游戏. 这些方法通通都无法让我乖乖地睡觉去. T.T. 我躺在床上时, 头脑就是一直在想东西. 我在床上左翻右翻; 时而觉得热, 时而感到有点冷; 我一下把被单踢到老远的, 一下又把被盖上. 更可恶的是, 我整个晚上都被那讨人厌的蚊子骚扰, 真是beh tahan!! 我都跟你说我很讨厌你咯, 蚊子!你还是要死缠烂打, 真是气死人!!
好啦!又睡不到觉了...
2.22.2012
2.17.2012
梦中有梦
下午刚吃饱午餐后, 我因为头有点疼, 所以就去睡个午睡. 哪知我就和最近这几天那样, 一躺在床上, 我就东想西想. 我在窗上翻来覆去的, 总是睡不到觉. 慢慢的, 我进入了梦竟. 我和几位朋友去了学校里刚装修好的电脑室玩扑克牌(LOL,但是我们还是有用电脑). 我朋友用的那台电脑是超级先进的, 而且是先进到懂得听人话的地步. 我因为一时贪玩, 说了一句"我不喜欢你"而被那台电脑追了整间电脑室, 最后还因为以为乖乖向他屈服他就会饶了我而被他抓上车再带到一个我非常陌生的地方.
去到了那陌生的地方, 有二到三位我不认识的男士上了车. 就这样, 我和那几位不明人士坐在车里, 一直不知道在哪里兜了又兜. 当时的自己, 不知为什么, 就是很肯定自己一定是在做梦, 所以, 我一直强逼自己开眼睛并回到现实中. 挣脱了很旧, 我终于回到了现实, 回到了自己的家. 看到那熟悉的房子里坐着熟悉的人, 我整个人松了一口气. 踏进屋子后, 我却发现刚才车上的那几位男士跟在我后头,走进了屋里. 我看了看我的家人, 深怕他们会误会他们是我的朋友, 想要向他们解释解释刚才所发生的一切, 谁知他们早就已经知道了. 我明明是在梦中遇到那几位不明人士, 怎么大家都会知道我去了哪里,还懂得一清二楚?? 我非常相信自己刚才是在发梦, 但听了他们的言语,看了他们若无奇事的表情, 我真的被搞得连梦竟还是现实都搞不清了. 分不清现实还是虚幻是件很令人烦恼的事. 分分中, 我还可能以为自己疯了. 那种感觉, 实在是很辛苦.
仔细想想, 其实我刚才明明是在睡午觉, 下午时分, 家里不可能有弟弟, 哥哥及爸爸坐在客厅. 对了! 我一定是在发梦.我醒来后, 应该要看到的是自己的房间, 而不是客厅. 我很努力很努力地逼自己睁开眼睛, 希望可以把自己拉回现实. 我试了好多次, 眼皮就是那么重. 不管我怎么努力, 还是不能把它给打开. 我微微地听到家里的电子钟报时说现在是下午五点钟. 听到钟声, 我知道自己就快要成功了. pohhh!一声, 我终于醒过来了. 我看到了自己的房间, 我听见了我房间里熟悉的风扇转动声. 哇!Finally!
啊!好恐怖的一个下午觉. 不止发了个怪梦, 还要是梦里有梦! 但是, 最恐怖的还不是梦里有梦, 而是那在梦竟与现实中徘徊的感觉, 整个人感觉上就像是个疯婆!
尝试要抽离梦竟的事情已不是第一次发生在我身上. 有时就算成功了, 当眼睛一关上, 梦还是会继续. 会继续的梦, 从来就只有恶梦, 例如枪杀案, 见鬼, 有阴阳眼等等, 感觉是超恐怖的!!
发完了一场恶梦, 离奇地感觉爽了一些, emo也没了. 也许是因为我在梦里发泄了一顿, 整个人松懈了下来. 或许这场梦可以让我不再整天闷闷不乐, 不再浪费我只有两个星期留在家里的时间. =)
p/s: 从梦中醒来后, 我就跳到电脑前上面子书和大家分享这件事. 我很不轻易地瞄了时钟一眼, 当时正是4:19pm.
去到了那陌生的地方, 有二到三位我不认识的男士上了车. 就这样, 我和那几位不明人士坐在车里, 一直不知道在哪里兜了又兜. 当时的自己, 不知为什么, 就是很肯定自己一定是在做梦, 所以, 我一直强逼自己开眼睛并回到现实中. 挣脱了很旧, 我终于回到了现实, 回到了自己的家. 看到那熟悉的房子里坐着熟悉的人, 我整个人松了一口气. 踏进屋子后, 我却发现刚才车上的那几位男士跟在我后头,走进了屋里. 我看了看我的家人, 深怕他们会误会他们是我的朋友, 想要向他们解释解释刚才所发生的一切, 谁知他们早就已经知道了. 我明明是在梦中遇到那几位不明人士, 怎么大家都会知道我去了哪里,还懂得一清二楚?? 我非常相信自己刚才是在发梦, 但听了他们的言语,看了他们若无奇事的表情, 我真的被搞得连梦竟还是现实都搞不清了. 分不清现实还是虚幻是件很令人烦恼的事. 分分中, 我还可能以为自己疯了. 那种感觉, 实在是很辛苦.
仔细想想, 其实我刚才明明是在睡午觉, 下午时分, 家里不可能有弟弟, 哥哥及爸爸坐在客厅. 对了! 我一定是在发梦.我醒来后, 应该要看到的是自己的房间, 而不是客厅. 我很努力很努力地逼自己睁开眼睛, 希望可以把自己拉回现实. 我试了好多次, 眼皮就是那么重. 不管我怎么努力, 还是不能把它给打开. 我微微地听到家里的电子钟报时说现在是下午五点钟. 听到钟声, 我知道自己就快要成功了. pohhh!一声, 我终于醒过来了. 我看到了自己的房间, 我听见了我房间里熟悉的风扇转动声. 哇!Finally!
啊!好恐怖的一个下午觉. 不止发了个怪梦, 还要是梦里有梦! 但是, 最恐怖的还不是梦里有梦, 而是那在梦竟与现实中徘徊的感觉, 整个人感觉上就像是个疯婆!
尝试要抽离梦竟的事情已不是第一次发生在我身上. 有时就算成功了, 当眼睛一关上, 梦还是会继续. 会继续的梦, 从来就只有恶梦, 例如枪杀案, 见鬼, 有阴阳眼等等, 感觉是超恐怖的!!
发完了一场恶梦, 离奇地感觉爽了一些, emo也没了. 也许是因为我在梦里发泄了一顿, 整个人松懈了下来. 或许这场梦可以让我不再整天闷闷不乐, 不再浪费我只有两个星期留在家里的时间. =)
p/s: 从梦中醒来后, 我就跳到电脑前上面子书和大家分享这件事. 我很不轻易地瞄了时钟一眼, 当时正是4:19pm.
2.13.2012
Happy Birthday, DADDY!^^
12th of February is my dad's birthday and a small celebration had been planned for him. Honestly speaking, I found it awkward to have such a normal birthday celebration for my dad. Maybe that's because I'm too used to planning surprised parties for my friends in college. However, once I see the way how he enjoyed eating his favourite seafood buffet steamboat and the excitement he got when trying to see what we have bought him as present, I was relieved coz I can see that he's happy. I guess everyone will feel happy when they receive presents from their beloved ones.
It's a simple birthday celebration for my dad but I think that's enough to make him happy coz we all are united. We all are united in making this small celebration a heartwarming one just by going out for dinner together and then using our savings to buy him a present. It's a GPS unit actually. Hopefully with this device, don't-know-the-route wouldn't be an excuse for him and my mum to go anywhere they like.
Happy Birthday, Daddy! Stay happy and healthy always! ^^
p/s : part of the celebration is for my lil bro too. sorry for not being able to find a suitable present for him. Anyway, Happy Birthday to you too, HONG!=)
(photos will be uploaded later)
2.12.2012
Meeting-Up-With-Friends KL Trip
Finally, on the 10th of February, we were all meeting up again in Midvalley Megamall. We went for karaoke, went for 'I Love Hong Kong' and also LIBRARY, a pub actually and this is my first time entering a pub. It's happy to have everyone, though some busy with summer course assignments and some living quite far away from KL, trying to make this gathering happens. Although it has been quite some time since we all last gathered, I felt truly comfortable with them around me. It's like we have not been seperated for a year. We chit chatted, we bombed each other like always, we played games together like last time except that we were not in 194 BU 6/2 or BU Emo Park but in a pub, we disturbed one another and we had pillow-talk. It really feels like last time which I'm very happy about but also cause me to emo a bit after going back to Kuatan coz I know I'm gonna miss it.
A 4 days 3 nights trip to KL is basically a Meeting-Up-With-Friends Trip. On arrival, I met up with a lecturer whom I respected a lot- Mr.Wong with some other friends. There were quite a lot of awkward silent moment in between and sorry Mr.Wong that I always don't get your jokes =.=, but, still I'm happy to see him again and have some updates about himself and his family and KBU college. He's a great teacher who will never give up in educating students. He taught us Economics in college but he seldom taught us how to score full marks in exams but he used a lot different ways to gain our interest in learning something that we are not familiar with. He took real action to give us support and assistance. Academic wise, he might not be the best teacher, but we will always like to talk to him and listen to his words because he understands us the best.
I also met up with another friend of mine together with a super close friend of mine. I always meet up with him when I go to KL and he is the one that never failed the meet-up. He talked a lot this time. I'm glad that he's the one doing the talking most of the time coz I prefer being a listener most of the time and at that time, I'm quite tired already. I'm happy for having him to trust my friend and I enough to tell us his problem. I'm happy for being able to his listener too. =)
For the first two nights in KL, I stayed in my super close friend's aunty house in Cheras. OMG! her house has three dogs with one bigger in size than another. WOW! It really scared me at first but eventually, I still get used to them sniffing around me but still not for them trying to lean on me. Anyway, we both had great nights in her aunty house. Once the light was off, we started pillow-talking. Our pillow talked topic was kind of serious, still it's great.
It's wonderful that I gotta meet up with my beloved college friends again. Though some of them couldn't make it, still, they will always in my heart. <3
 |
| Sook Yan & Xing Jing |
 |
| Singing K in The Garden's RedBox (we have more ppl joining us later) |
 |
| Jia Jun(JJ) & Raphael |
 |
| Drinking in the LIBRARY with yenshiang, JJ, Kenny, XJ, MengMin, Sy & Raphael |
A 4 days 3 nights trip to KL is basically a Meeting-Up-With-Friends Trip. On arrival, I met up with a lecturer whom I respected a lot- Mr.Wong with some other friends. There were quite a lot of awkward silent moment in between and sorry Mr.Wong that I always don't get your jokes =.=, but, still I'm happy to see him again and have some updates about himself and his family and KBU college. He's a great teacher who will never give up in educating students. He taught us Economics in college but he seldom taught us how to score full marks in exams but he used a lot different ways to gain our interest in learning something that we are not familiar with. He took real action to give us support and assistance. Academic wise, he might not be the best teacher, but we will always like to talk to him and listen to his words because he understands us the best.
I also met up with another friend of mine together with a super close friend of mine. I always meet up with him when I go to KL and he is the one that never failed the meet-up. He talked a lot this time. I'm glad that he's the one doing the talking most of the time coz I prefer being a listener most of the time and at that time, I'm quite tired already. I'm happy for having him to trust my friend and I enough to tell us his problem. I'm happy for being able to his listener too. =)
For the first two nights in KL, I stayed in my super close friend's aunty house in Cheras. OMG! her house has three dogs with one bigger in size than another. WOW! It really scared me at first but eventually, I still get used to them sniffing around me but still not for them trying to lean on me. Anyway, we both had great nights in her aunty house. Once the light was off, we started pillow-talking. Our pillow talked topic was kind of serious, still it's great.
It's wonderful that I gotta meet up with my beloved college friends again. Though some of them couldn't make it, still, they will always in my heart. <3
2.07.2012
OMG! I'm not ready yet
惨了惨了惨了!
Three more weeks and I gotta go back to uni already...
and I'm still not ready yet.=.=
I haven't learn any design software that will be used for my design work this year
and I'm gonna die trying to catch up with others...
I haven't read up enough about architectural history
and I'm gonna die for not being able to write a good 2000 words essay...
I haven't work on my english
and I'm gonna continue to present my work with my full of grammar mistakes and lack of vocab english...
omg omG OMG!
2.06.2012
其实我很爱唱歌!
其实, 我很想说, 我很爱唱歌. 我喜欢趁没人在家时大声练歌, 希望可以唱出我要的感觉; 我爱去KTV, 因为在那里我可以大声的唱, 并从speakers里清楚地听到自己的歌声.
1997年, 我参加了学校举办的歌唱比赛. 我以爸爸教我唱的 '好儿童' 歌曲, 获得了冠军!那是我人生中的第一个冠军, 但其实我没什么印象当时的自己是有多么的开心, 因为我当时就只有一年级而已.
三年级的时候, 我因为在学校举办的歌唱比赛中得了前三名以内的奖, 所以被派代表学校参加校际歌唱比赛, 最后还以第四名的成绩为校争光. 当时, 我有对自己的成绩感到意外, 但还是很开心.
到KTV唱歌时, 亲戚朋友们都会赞我唱歌好听, 歌声美妙.
谢谢大家对我的赞赏, 因为有人赞了, 所以我才敢大声地唱歌. 但但但但,说实话, 我并不觉得自己唱歌的功力很好. 高调一点的歌曲, 我就拉不上, 低调一点的歌, 我就唱得连声音都听不到.
我还真的很希望我常常会有时间练唱, 希望有一天, 我可以唱得一首好歌!
1997年, 我参加了学校举办的歌唱比赛. 我以爸爸教我唱的 '好儿童' 歌曲, 获得了冠军!那是我人生中的第一个冠军, 但其实我没什么印象当时的自己是有多么的开心, 因为我当时就只有一年级而已.
三年级的时候, 我因为在学校举办的歌唱比赛中得了前三名以内的奖, 所以被派代表学校参加校际歌唱比赛, 最后还以第四名的成绩为校争光. 当时, 我有对自己的成绩感到意外, 但还是很开心.
到KTV唱歌时, 亲戚朋友们都会赞我唱歌好听, 歌声美妙.
谢谢大家对我的赞赏, 因为有人赞了, 所以我才敢大声地唱歌. 但但但但,说实话, 我并不觉得自己唱歌的功力很好. 高调一点的歌曲, 我就拉不上, 低调一点的歌, 我就唱得连声音都听不到.
我还真的很希望我常常会有时间练唱, 希望有一天, 我可以唱得一首好歌!
这一篇文章, 我还写得有点烂. 但我没怎么想如何要修好它. 抱歉!
2.03.2012
CNY 2012
A very different but still wonderful CNY that i had this year. Instead of following the tradition of having reunion dinner in kuantan at my eldest uncle's house then go to my aunty house in klang on CNY 1st day and gamble all the way till 4th or 5th day of CNY, this year reunion dinner is at Klang in restaurant and then on the 1st day of CNY, all my family members and relatives went to Vietnam (Hanoi & Halong Bay). It's a 6 days 5 nights trip. All together 31 people from 8 families. It's the Heng, Wan, Wang, Wong, Yap & Chuah family trip!
This is the very first time I experienced 'Lau Shang'. I think I enjoy messing the table more than doing it for the sake of bring more luck to my life in this brand new year. haha! It does taste good btw.
The food were not as nice as I expected and I'm kind of tired that day. Probably too much talking and laughing for the sake of fitting into the crowd and not to let others' down. However, i do feel happy to have all my relatives coming for this very meaningful dinner.
Hanoi is quite an unorganised city for me. The houses are all in different heights, breaths and lengths. It seems like they are notwell-planned-constructions. Some of my relatives found it ugly but somehow, I find it unique and interesting. It's something new to me and worth exploring.
Besides Halong Bay and "Halong Bay" on land, there were quite a lot of Buddhist and Zen temples that I had visited. The main purpose of having visits to temples is to understand and enjoy the great architecture of those temples built hundred of thousand years ago. As an architecture student, not ashame of me to tell you that I just have normal feeling towards the activity of appreciating the great architecture of those temples, but still, I did it just not to waste the opportunity to furthur understand Buddhist architecture. Temples there are mostly made of wood blocks. One great thing about them is they are constructed without using a single nail. That's pretty amazing, isn't it? =)
Hanoi is a metropolitan city but it's still under development. While traveling from one destination to another destination, I can see a lot of unfinished constructions along the roadside. There's a lack of organisation for the whole city. Shophouses are all of different sizes, electricity cables are intertwined in a very disorder manner and the traffic there is terrible even with traffic lights normally operated cz when it turns red, no vehicles is stopping at all. The city is seriously polluted. All day long I can hear horns everywhere. Poisonous fumes emitted from vehicles can be smelled anytime which makes me feel terribly sick. I hate smokes!!!
For this 6 days 5 nights trip, I truly enjoyed it, not just because Vietnam is an interesting place, but the people who went for the trip together with me, makes the vacation the most wonderful ever one. I feel blessed to have such a big great lovely family. Hopefully, there'll be another one for the next year, the next next year and forever. ^^
 |
| 'lau shang" |
 |
| 五福临门 |
 |
| steamed fish |
 |
| 鸡丝汤 (我还以为是鱼翅) |
The food were not as nice as I expected and I'm kind of tired that day. Probably too much talking and laughing for the sake of fitting into the crowd and not to let others' down. However, i do feel happy to have all my relatives coming for this very meaningful dinner.
Vietnam Trip!
 |
| Enjoying "bo" for our first supper in Hanoi, Vietnam. |
 |
| 'bo gio' |
On arrival, everyone was hungry and lucky for us to find this little food stall selling 'bo gio' aka beef noodles. It's a small shoplot furnished with kindergarten size tables and chairs. The first surprise we had after arrival. Next, it communication problem. WE DON'T UNDERSTAND VIETNAMESE AT ALL and THE HAWKER DON'T SPEAK ENGLISH AT ALL. We didn't know what he's selling, didn't know how to order, didn't know how to ask him how much ... ... OMG! This is the very first time I felt so helpless for not being able to communicate. We were like 鸡和鸭讲. In the end had to use sign language to express ourselves somemore. >.<
 |
| Boating at "Halong Bay on land" on the 2nd day |
 |
| This place is like a heaven! |
 |
| Tall rock mountains all around us |
 |
| All his 划龙舟 memories were refreshed when he's rowing ^^ |
 |
| Boating through low ceiling cave. Truly enjoy!=) |
 |
| Super complicated cables |
 |
| Super-duper complicated cables |
 |
| Colourful houses with different heights, breaths, lengths |
HALONG BAY!!
 |
| Halong Bay |
 |
| Fruit stalls on boat |
 |
| We are going to the cave upthere! |
 |
| Inside the cave |
 |
| great stalagmite in the cave |
 |
| spectacular view of Halong Bay when climbing the stairs up to the cave |
 |
| Bai Dinh Pagoda - the biggest buddhist temple in Vietnam |
 |
| Bai Dinh Pagoda roof structure |
 |
| Bai Dinh Pagoda interior |
 |
| Du Hang Pagoda |
 |
| Ritual ceremony in Temple of Literature |
For this 6 days 5 nights trip, I truly enjoyed it, not just because Vietnam is an interesting place, but the people who went for the trip together with me, makes the vacation the most wonderful ever one. I feel blessed to have such a big great lovely family. Hopefully, there'll be another one for the next year, the next next year and forever. ^^
 |
| I love you~You love me~We are one BIG family~ (not in pic: chia yee and her family members, my bro the cameraman, my dad elder sister husband and mian yi) |
1.16.2012
1 1/2 month summer break REPORT
1 1/2 month of holidays had passed. From a list of things that i wish to accomplish during this long long holidays, i guess there's only one that i had done but I'm actually quite happy with it. I spent 1 1/2 month knitting and crocheting. My whole big family and I are going to vietnam this cny. Since they don't have any scarves and since i know and enjoy knitting and crocheting, so i made one for each of them. Haha! and also one for myself though i already have two...kekeke =p
Sydney has strong wind and I always need a cap but it cost me at least $20AUD to have one. Since i know how to crochet now, so I MADE ONE for myself. It turned out great! I love it. It's a bit loose tho. Hopefully it can stand the wind or I gonna make another one.
What come next? it should be a pair of slippers to keep my feet warm during winter in Sydney. =)
Besides knitting and crocheting, i did learn some korean. hehe! I'm not really a Kpop fans but since i do listen to korean songs, knowing a bit korean should be useful for me in searching songs. But, the main reason i learn it, is just for fun! wakakaka. I had learnt the vowels and consonants but that's not even enough for me to romanize hangul. Anyway, at least i have started.
ermmm... what else have i done? Really not much but i had settled my accommodation problem in sydney for this year already. I started searching for them online since two weeks before the end of December last year. Initially, the result was always disappointing - no reply through email from agent, couldn't find house which meet my friends and my requirements, finding people to inspect houses, deciding whether or not to have someone signing contract for us (worrying about againsting australia's tenancy law and resposibility and trust issues). Starting from 5 ppl sharing a house plan, we split to 3 girls 2 guys searching for accommodation respectively, then having room of our own in different houses and probably, different area. Anyway, i felt blessed that eventually i found one - 190per week rent with all bills included, around 10 minutes walk to my faculty, fully-furnished bedroom, kitchen with microwave and oven (I can bake <3) and laundry room with coin-operated washing machine and dryer. 190pw rent is actually quite expensive but so far this is the best that i can find. Competition for rooms and houses in Sydney is high, what's more when the room is so close to the uni. It's highly-demanded. I will have to start paying full rent to secure the room or take the risk of finding a room with this kind of criteria but more expensive or even worse, still can't find a place to stay when i am back to sydney already. I had chosen the former and very lucky for me to have a secondary school friend there, willing to help me contact the house owner to ask him lots of questions, arrange an inspection time with the house owner in her very hectic summer school life, signing contract on behalf of me and paying bond, key deposit and two week rent in advance for me. Thanks to her! Kamsahabnida. =))
 |
| This is for my lil bro. |
 |
| This is for my mummy |
 |
| This is for my daddy |
 |
| This is MINE!! hehe |
Knitting and crocheting scarves is actually quite easy cz it's just about repeating the same steps for the whole projects but of course, different patterns will have different steps to follow. I wouldn't want my knitting and crocheting skills to remain just there, so i tried something more complicated. I knitted things that will be useful to me in my daily life. I had tried knitting a shopping bag, but it's a failure cz it looks elongated and too elastic.
 |
| my very fist knitted shopping bag |
 |
| It's called newsboy cap! |
Besides knitting and crocheting, i did learn some korean. hehe! I'm not really a Kpop fans but since i do listen to korean songs, knowing a bit korean should be useful for me in searching songs. But, the main reason i learn it, is just for fun! wakakaka. I had learnt the vowels and consonants but that's not even enough for me to romanize hangul. Anyway, at least i have started.
ermmm... what else have i done? Really not much but i had settled my accommodation problem in sydney for this year already. I started searching for them online since two weeks before the end of December last year. Initially, the result was always disappointing - no reply through email from agent, couldn't find house which meet my friends and my requirements, finding people to inspect houses, deciding whether or not to have someone signing contract for us (worrying about againsting australia's tenancy law and resposibility and trust issues). Starting from 5 ppl sharing a house plan, we split to 3 girls 2 guys searching for accommodation respectively, then having room of our own in different houses and probably, different area. Anyway, i felt blessed that eventually i found one - 190per week rent with all bills included, around 10 minutes walk to my faculty, fully-furnished bedroom, kitchen with microwave and oven (I can bake <3) and laundry room with coin-operated washing machine and dryer. 190pw rent is actually quite expensive but so far this is the best that i can find. Competition for rooms and houses in Sydney is high, what's more when the room is so close to the uni. It's highly-demanded. I will have to start paying full rent to secure the room or take the risk of finding a room with this kind of criteria but more expensive or even worse, still can't find a place to stay when i am back to sydney already. I had chosen the former and very lucky for me to have a secondary school friend there, willing to help me contact the house owner to ask him lots of questions, arrange an inspection time with the house owner in her very hectic summer school life, signing contract on behalf of me and paying bond, key deposit and two week rent in advance for me. Thanks to her! Kamsahabnida. =))
 |
| This is gonna be my new room in sydney this year. |
That's all from me for now... will update more when the mood comes... =)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)