The day when Ausmat result is out

12月30号是我AUSMAT成绩放榜的那一天。原本打算和朋友们一起熬夜check成绩，谁知12月29日大约傍晚时分，我就收到消息说成绩已经出炉了。带着忐忑不安的心情查了成绩，96.8，还不错嘛！我终于可以飞了！真是谢天谢地！但是最开心的还不是这个。当我听到欣静说她能飞的好消息，我真是为她感到开心，连我的心都在笑了。欣静万岁！=）

拿到成绩，有人欢喜，有人悲哀。能飞的，我当然为他们感到开心。不能飞的，我听了，也不知该说些什么。想安慰安慰他们，却怕自己说太多，说错话，把情况弄得更糟。咳。。

很快的，明年1月6日，German bound 的朋友们就要离开马来西亚了。原本打算在他们飞之前，大家来开心地聚一聚，但知道一些朋友飞不到后，我简直就是没心情了。

一大早起床，想到的就只有他人的成绩。外面下着滂沱大雨，原本心情就没有很好的我，现在就变得更糟了。 在加上妈妈眼睛的小血管有再爆了， 真是令我心情糟透了。我担心她的高血压会严重化，却又不晓得该如何预防，因为她的血压高是遗传的。

咳。。怎么办呢？但愿妈妈会永远健康， 也但愿JPA会大发慈悲之心，帮帮那些飞不到的朋友，因为他们的确是有努力过的。而我呢？也但愿我能尽快恢复原本开朗的我，不再让低落的情绪影响自己。ml 啊ml， 还有很多事情是等着你去做的嘞！

Memories of the Past

Before it starts to fade , I should write it down here. I don't know how long it will stay in my mind, but I will never stop it from escaping.

Places with MeMoRiEssSS~

Student house 194~BU 6 Park~One Utama Shopping Mall~MPH Bookstore~Centrepoint~Foodcourt@ATC@Kopitiam~Hostel TV Room~Fauzana Mamak~Starbucks~McD~College library~SS24~Desa Park~KLCC~Malaysia Philharmony Orchestra (MPO)~Station One Cafe~Penang~Kuantan~Kuala Terengganu~Sarawak

Memoriessszz~

Homework~Revision~Music~Songs~Movies~Jokes~Sudoku~News~Lyrics~Scandals
~Badminton~Basketball~Cycling~Jogging~Singing~Sabo-ing~Birthday celebrations~Food~
Coffee~Travelling~World Cup~Orchestra~

I believe there are more, but i can't remember already lu...

Things change when time passes. They might turn to be better or worse and both are equally possible. Nothing is permanent. Let's look forward to the next day to come and see what will happen. ^^

NS Friends Gathering

Heavy eyes. Bumpy eyes. A little bit of running nose. I'm seriously tired and exhausted due to the inadequacy of sleep. T.T. *deafening thunder and eye-striking lightning* ahahahah!

I am supposed to be just back from Ai Choon's house after staying for another night at her house, but yesterday due to tiredness and some other reasons, I succumbed to the notion of returning to my home sweet home. I miss home.

On the last two days, starting from Christmans eve night, I had been spending all my time with my NS friends coming all the way from Labis, Segamat and Kota Tinggi. We went for X'mas countdown (which we failed to make it on time =p), went to 24hour cafe for supper, went for pak kut teh for breakfast, went for The Gulliver's Travel and last but not least, BBQ @ birthday celebration (komi ethene, yen min, zi cong, ee ven, pei ling)@ farewell party for ME. Touched. *thanks for the card and the CREAM* =)

Worrying for not being able to mingle around with this group of wild and superactive NS friends, in the end, *pheww* I did make it. I can't really say that I can fit into them, but at least, there's less tense when I am together with them compared to last time. I guess it's because i have changed after coming back from KL. I don't really know how to describe the change that have taken place on me, but I'm quite certain of it. I have start to discover who am i and i have learnt how to deal with people who are very different from me and to be more open-minded. When i was hanging out with them, instead of saying stuffs which don't sound like me and make myself so tensed up, i just keep quiet when i don't have anything to say. I listen, I observe and I analyse. I don't need them to purposely say something in order to seek their attention but simply by just listening to their conversation among themselves, i will get entertained. I'm different from the whole group of them in the way how we interact with people. This is the fact but it is more than ALRIGHT! I accepted them as who they are.

In the 2 days 1 night gathering, I tried to understand and unveil the true self of them but i failed. 36 hours time is just too short for me to fully discover a person's character. It's embarassing to say that only a few days ago, then only I start to truly get to know them better. It's even more embarassing to say that my mind was blank when i was asked to write something in their b'day cards. Sorry!

Anyway, whatever it is, i still appreciate them for everything that they have done for me - remembering me as one of the candidates in Kem Pinggiran Pelangi siri 6 kumpulan 2, asking me out for gathering and organising a farewell party for me. Thanks! =)

Somehow, I do feel lucky that I have a lot F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

*sorry, this post is quite a mess. I'm tired.

Wonderful holidays

While a lot of my friends are collecting dust at home, lucky and proud to say that i never have to join them. Since holidays commence, i have a list of to-do-stuffs planning in my mind. Every week, one activity followed by one activity is waiting for me to accomplish them.

From the last update, i had gone for movie "Narnia" together with my buddies - lee cheng, sin yee, tiffany and khan nye (T.T cz lee hoong was not with us). Before going for the movie, we took lunch together at Pizza Hut, as usual and of course, we won't forget to keep each other updated with GOSSIPS while waiting for the time for show. We chatted a lot since we have not been seeing each other for a long time. I'm always myself when I'm hanging out with them and that's what make me feel comfortable when I'm together with them.

Right after the day of having gathering with my buddies, i went to Malacca to meet my KBU friends ( Li Chi, Xing Jing and Yen Shiang) as well as to tour around the city which was once the land of prosperity. It's a four days three nights trip, with Li Chi's "brothers", her mum and herself being either the drivers or tour guides for the entire trip. We visited a lot of historical buildings - the muziums, the church the castles, and we tasted a lot of local delicacies there. Yummy yummy! Talking about food, i can never resist its temptation. I love the food there, especially the satay celup!Another tourist spot which we had paid a visit to for twice (due to the inco-orperative weather) was the Portugese Village. It's a lovely residential area dominated by portugese people and it's definitely a perfect place to celebrate the always-merry-and-cheery X'mas! *jingle bell~jingle bell~jingle all the way~* WOW! i love X'mas!

Finally, it came to yesterday where i went for Yum-Cha with my secondary@primary school classmates - Zhen Ying, Mae and Joanne at Tea Time. Initially, I was worried that I might have no idea on how to start a conversation with them (plus i was extremely sleepy at that time) but glad to say that, eventually it turned up to be a wonderful meet-up. I enjoy chatting with them and before we went our own ways, i received a soft toy - an orange elephant from zhen ying and mae. Hehe! thanks ^^

Gathering ~ Malacca trip ~ Rendezvous ~

SO, what's next?

Today is X'mas eve. My Nasional Service Camp friends from Labis, Kota Tinggi and Bentong are coming to Kuantan. haha! Yea! it's time for gathering again! but OH NOOOOOooo.... I'm gonna be sprayed like crazy tonight. Spare me pleasezzzzz~OR anyone wants to save me? =p Die lo....

I'm looking forward to the gathering with my NS friends but i can't help letting the shred of worry to spoil my excitement. The same concern I have for every gathering. I'm afraid I can't get into the mood of gathering. Pray hard that everything will be fine. ^^

Guilty

I am overwhelmed by the sense of guilty everytime i sit in my room doing my own things, either online or read storybooks.

"One is watching movie, one is playing games, one is onlining and we both watch TV!"

"We both don't know how to online and use computer, so we have no choice but to stare at the television for the whole night. "

Though they said in in a very casual manner and with broad smile on their faces, I know they are signalling something, something that has been bordering me since the day i discovered it. I did do something to overcome this problem. I chatted more with them. I tried to make conversation with them. I watched news together with them and I gave my comments and point of views on what's happening around. BUT I don't think all these are enough. They still feel the same way.

The worst thing now is, I seem to be the only one who realise about this problem and trying to make a change. I'm tired to do it all alone. he is too innocent to recognise this as a problem while He, I have no idea whether he dunoe or he just pretends not knowing anything.

I feel guilty for being part of the cause of this problem. He's sad. I'm not certain about this but at least if i were him, i will feel sad and disappointed. Though sad and disappointed, he still continue to shower us with love and care.

This family is lack of UNITY.

I wish upon the star, one day things will change~

An Unexpected Busy Day

4.57am - what a dream! her scary eyessss!! luckily, it's just a dream

9.37am - another nightmare i had ! I was a warrior ?!! Fighting with enemies who i couldn't even recognised myself ?!! Putting my best effort ever to save a baby who had being LIMBLESSened by the enemy?!! ~scarry yerrrr~

Though i had two nightmares in one night, i still feel reluctant to get off from the bed, not for the fact that the bed is too comfortable (although it is), but i still don't have the plan in my mind what i wanna do today. There's nothing that i was looking forward to and i felt so aimless. I knew, i was going to squander away the time just like that. However, in the end, i did force myself to wake up and went for breakfast with my mum.

After coming back from breakfast, first thing first, ONLINE & FACEBOOK & MSN, my holiday daily routine. ^^ Thinking about yesterday MPYO, i thought of finding out more about it but eventually i was stuck in all my friends' blog posts which i had long didn't read.*sorry sorry sorry*=.= Then i suddenly became very very very and super busy - busy leaving comments, busy replying comments, busy chatting with many many people. ermmm... how should i start telling about this? it's just all of a sudden, i become so POPULAR. *爱脸a bit here*

I couldn't really remember the sequence of people come find me to chat but i did remember i took the initiative to find winjing to chit chat a bit. While i was chatting with winjing, talking with her about her interest in painting which i had just found out T.T, then xing jing sent me a nudge through msn as usual (her way to say hi to me).An idea of joining her and yen shiang having a vacation in malacca suddenly popped up in my mind. So, i discussed with her about it and finally made the decision to join them for Malacca 4 days 3 nights trip. hoorey! Another activity for my holidays but i was afraid of missing them so badly again because i had just got used to the life without seeing them everyday. Still, i will join them!^^

Then, Siez Kit find me on facebook. I couldn't really remember what he had shouted out to me in fb but i remembered we crabbed a lot. Then TBC's turn to find me, asking me something about the If-We-Cannot-Fly plan. He's always the best secretary that we can refer to whenever we have problems regarding forms and JPA stuffs. So i asked him about how to fill in the super troublesome borang keselamatan. While i was going through the questions that i didn't know how to answer, one of my good friend, Sin Yee find me, offered me a free ticket to watch Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollow. FREE?!! Harry Potter?!! when? what time? Today 3.20pm. ON! hihihihihi. One and a half hour to go but i had lots of stuffs to do at that time. Chatting with xing jing, checking bus ticket, reading blogs, filling in forms, and i still have lunch haven't taken yet and not getting ready to go for movies. phiewww... busy busy busy!

3.20pm - I was in the cinema, watching Harry Potter! Hermonie had grown up a lot. She's taller, prettier and more woman-like now (plus she's intelligent ). I truly enjoyed the whole movie! Thanks to Sin Yee again! the second free ticket that she had offered to me (although in the end i did offer to pay for it). ^^

Back to home and here I am - blogging while chatting with a lot of people again. hehe! =)

Actually the whole point of writing this blog is ... let's look at the beginning. I started off my day feeling so aimless, empty but many unexpected things happened and they filled up the emptiness in me. What i'm trying to say here is there're always unexpected things happen in our life, be them good or bad. As long as we continue to live and don't lose the strength to move on, there will be a chance for changes to take place. ^^

Alright! Good night everyone. It's exactly 1.05am now. i am way away from the time for beauty sleep already.

zZz...tata!

Badminton + long-hour chit-chat + orchestra

Yesterday (15.12.10) was a busy day for me. Early in the morning, as promised, i had a "reunion" with my badminton kaki - Yeoh Mei Yin (ah Mae), Yee Zhen Ying and Pang Zyu Wenn. This time, we didn't follow the tradition. WE used to play badminton at 8am or 8.30am but from the past experiences, due to the fact that WE all had difficulty in making it at 8am sharp, so we changed it to 10am but surprisingly to find that, THEY (not WE anymore =p) still facing the same problem as last time. Anyway, it's holidays so it's alright! ^^

The second tradition that we had disobeyed was the time duration for our reunion. From the usual two-hour play that we usually had, we had shortened it to one-hour play. At first i was quite disappointed with the sudden change but it turned out to be i couldn't waited for the one hour to pass. I don't enjoy the game? NO NO NO. Don't misunderstand! It's just because I was more excited to chit chat with them than playing badminton. ( Honestly, play badminton is just a reason for us to meet up because the time we spend on talking > the time we spend on playing badminton ) hehehehe! We had not met for a long time and there're tons of stuffs that we wanna tell each other.

Right after playing badminton, as promised, we went yum cha at Jazz Cafe - a new restaurant for me but not really for others anymore. Hihihihi! I ordered pork chop for "breakfast" and it had really gave me a good shock as the pork chop is really just chopped-into-smaller-pieces pork with the tiny scanty thai sauce. I thought it's supposed to have at least french fries or salad. Pathetic! >< *black list the shop but only for the pork chop and whatever chop sold there*

After yum cha-ing, I was supposed to go home already but I 心血来潮 want to go to zhen ying's house - the house that i had paid a visit to SOOooo frequently once upon a time. *reminisce* It's still the same house with the same outlook, new and comfortable. It's still having the same sofa, same lighting and only an addition of some new decorations. I still remember how to make my way to the restroom without her guideline. Everything still looked the same. A sweet, lovely and comfortable house! We chatted a lot and we talked about almost everything. I-phone, college life ( her's was in Taiwan and mine was in KL), friends, classmates, games, songs, books, movies ... ... It's so relaxing chatting with her and she's still the Zhen Ying that i used to know. That's great and wonderful! We were talking and talking and talking ,not realising that it's already 3 something, which means we had chit-chatted for almost 3 to 4 hours. Time really flied when we were indulging in something. ^^

Around 3.30pm, i went home with three storybooks highly recommended by zhen ying - 九把刀's book, The lightning thief andddddd TWILIGHT! Though I'm a bit out-dated already but it's still alright for me. Yay! i had something else to do now in this long holidays. =)

On that night around 8.30pm, i went for an orchestra performace by MPYO ( Malaysia Philharmony Youth Orchestra) with my lil bro. Rm50 per entry but i got two tickets for FREE! thanks to Sin Yee! It's really a great performace conducted by Kevin Field. Only three songs were being performed but they could last for 2 hours with 2o minutes break after the first two songs. Thumb up to all the conductor and all the future musicians! I saw only an exciting story being displayed in front of me when they were performing. From a slow intro, it developed into an exciting climax, then with an abrupt and unexpected turning point, then it finally ended with a heart-warming closure. Well done well done! It really enlightened my mood after being screwed by ppstream!!!

That's my day! Overall, i was HAPPY and SATISFIED !^^

THE END.
(It's time to O O le...Nite nitez~*snoring*)

Sarawak Trip

There're a few posts that i have written in these few days but always, i just wrote until halfway then i start to give up in writing already. I have a lot of things to share but always it's the failure in finding the right words to express them out that causes me to stop writing. zZz....WHATEVER...

Just some brief update about myself here...

29.11.10 - 05.12.10, i went to Sarawak together with my coursemates. What a wonderful city Kuching is and i truly enjoy the whole trip. It's so relaxing and i felt like i was at home when staying in my friend, Raphael's house. When we were at home, we can do anything we like, sleep and wake up at anytime we want. We even have free laundry service special provided by Raphael's mum's which had solved the problem that we had for not having enough clothes to wear. hehehe!

In the seven-day trip, we toured around Kuching, enjoying the breath-taking scenery of the not too ulu, not too modern city. Though it's quite a developed city, its pollution level is not high, judging from the clear blue sky together with white fluffy cloud that can be seen clearly in Sarawak. The roads there are wide and the whole city is full of greenery. The houses here are big, wide and most importantly, the houses here have very beautiful design. One special thing that i found out about Kuching is, not the city has a lot of cats, but it has a lot of roundabouts with very big surface area and super long name. I truly enjoy the whole trip and even the journey from one destination to another destination. We SANG a lot and that's really FUN! Chinese songs, English songs and Korean songs are all out. Rock songs, hip hop songs, rap and emo songs are all out! Woohoo!!! NICE!

Besides beautiful landscape that Kuching has, there are a lot of nice and special food that can be found there. Oh !! I still miss the Kolo mee, Char Da Lam Dam and the 4 layers tea there...They are so nice and we can never find them in West Malaysia! They are only available in Sarawak. Yerrrr...Not FAIR at all! Even the names of the food here are very different from West Malaysia's. We called it 干捞面，they called it 哥罗面。We called it ABC, they have something else which is quite similar to ABC but they named it White Lady. Most of the Chinese here are 福州人. That's why the food here is very different from West Malaysia's which is dominated by non-福州人. Thanks to Raphael and his family members. Without them, we wouldn't get to taste all the tantalising local food there.

Haha! Of course, i won't forget the celebration of Raphael's 19th birthday. Honestly, that's quite challenging to think of a way to celebrate his b'day since he had the plan for the whole trip which we barely know as it kept changing and we have no idea at all where to buy stuffs that we need to celebrate his b'day. We don't know when can we start preparing and when can we give him the surprise but luckily, finally we made it. Thanks to his mum and lil bro, Roydon, for lending us their helping hands and pakat-ing with us. hihihi! We had Banana Split with coke lollipop on it presented to him on the day we counted down for his b'day and we had 9 inch choconana cake for him too on his b'day night. Everything is banana and chocolate because he likes them so much. hehe! Hope he like the small b'day celebration that we had organised for him.Sabo? I guess the whole bucket of water poured on him when we were washing cars can be considered as sabo already吧!hihihi ^^

Hehe!I don't think this is a brief update about myself anymore. It's entirely about the Sarawak trip which enjoy so much! hihi. Hopefully i can go to Sarawak again, but of course together with my family members. I really want them to taste the super delicious and special food there. hehe! : )

The last day

After the graduation night, everything is supposed to come to an end already, but with BTN camp, "the last day" was being postponed to 26th of november. 26th of november, it's truly the last day for many of us. Once again, mine was being postponed as i still have Sarawak One-week trip. 5th of december - here it comes, the day that i have made so much prepare for in order to hold my tear. The first time in my life, i feel the sadness and reluctant when the day i gonna separate with friends is around the corner. i can feel the tear rolling in my eyes whenever i think of the day that i'm so afraid of to come.

I'm gonna miss all of you -miss the time that we sing together,miss the day we go to college together,miss the day we hang out at One Utama together,miss the day we do our assignment together and miss the day we go for traveling together.No one gonna sing together with me, no one gonna shoot me like canon whenever they meet me. No one gonna give me a really good surprise during my birthday and no one gonna entertain me when i feel bored, sad, emo and angry. No one gonna ask me "are you alright?" when they sense my emo-ness through my action. No one gonna give me a big teddy bear hug when i break down and feel so helpless. No one gonna bring me to those high-class restaurants for lunch and dinner and no one gonna go hunt for dress and high heel shoe together with me for prom night anymore. No one gonna go try nice and sexy dresses together with me and syok-sendiri together in the fitting room.

Back to my hometown and i will be alone again. i have changed a lot after i stay in PJ for one and the half year. i know myself better now and i know what i want, what i like or in other words, i found my self-identity. I truly think that it's a positive change, a change that i think is necessary for me to become more mature in my thinking which will affect the way i perceive things and the way i act. I'm different from my family members now. I hope that they can change together with me so that we can move forward to a better life in the same pace BUT this is not easy at all. To make a change, first and for most, i myself must be tough and certain with what i want to do.

Gambateh to myself! and FRIENDS, i will miss you all! A heartfelt thanks for the care, concern, love, advices, support, encouragement and help. Thank you for everything.

我不知道

看着facebook 的主页时，我看到的是很多朋友最新的status update和朋友们的流言。看着看着，想着想着，我发觉自己并没有对在facebook写下自己的最新状况及流言感兴趣，甚至有时候，我会有少少懒得去读他们的post和流言。我这种想法是不是出自于我一向来不太重视朋友或友情的思想呢？

我真的有那么无情吗？我真的有那么的不想知道曾经和我一起共度酸甜苦乐的朋友的最新状况吗？我有吗？我不知道。与朋友保持联络这一回事，我一向来都有在思考。妈妈常常会问我，你还有和某某某某朋友保持联络吗？我的答案常常都是没有。我不知道为什么，我就是找不到推动力去拨电话给朋友，打探他们最近的状况如何，和他们聊聊天，说说闲话。他们在我眼里真的那么没有地位吗？

我怎么可以那么的不珍惜友情呢？但是我真的有那么不珍惜他们吗？每次回到家乡时，我都会出席班级聚会及六位好朋友的聚会。会选择出席并不是纯粹为了出席而出席，而是我真的很想和他们聚一聚，看一看他们到底有何变化。难道这叫不珍惜朋友吗？还是那一句，我真的不知道。

朋友到底是什么？我常常试着去define这个词, 但是我始终找不到答案。这导致我时而很积极地与朋友保持联络，时而却对他们冷漠如冰。我这个人到底在做什么？咳。。。

the END of this blog

Blogging is just something not suitable for me...so, i guess i will just stop blogging...when i think i wanna to blog again, i will come back here...sorry!

Keep Move On

Quiet, peaceful, tranquility

When nobody’s around

That’s how I feel

Gloomy day

It’s going to rain

Math test – the last test had just over

The first time in my life

More than half of the paper I couldn’t do

Regret? Nahhh…

Not that I didn’t study

In fact, the whole night I’d been reading it

So, no REGRET

Sad? Yeah…unavoidable

But what to do?

It’s already over…

5% cumulative marks had just burnt

Yet, life goes on…

This test is just too little to spoil my mood

Just test ONLY

Neither a big challenge nor a serious problem to me

There’s much tougher thing that I need to worry in the future

Besides, I still have MOCK and EXTERNAL

Gambate gambate gambate

the latest update (superlong version)

It has really been a long time since I last updated my blog. Basically, that’s just because there’re not much events that’s interesting enough to trigger my mood to blog until after the short but frightening presentation that I had just gone through this morning.

This is going to be a very long post, so please be patient when reading it and HOPEFULLY, you can finally make it until THE END.

The presentation that I had done this morning is actually about the UN 2010 Peace Proposal. It’s an amazing proposal and I can say that I almost agree with whatever ideas or messages that the proposal’s writer trying to convey to us. My job there this morning is to present, or rather to share the messages that I had learnt from this wonderful piece of proposal. It’s quite a scarring event for me as I’m not used to having presentation, some more now I had to present to the public who mostly are adults and college/university students. It almost drives me crazy yesterday as I was so afraid that I will do badly for the presentation. Presentation is already something that I’m not used to do, some more I have to use proper, marvelous English to present out my ideas to the public. It’s quite a big challenge for me and with my two teammates who have 200% fluency in English and fantastic presentation skills, I truly felt pressured. What more when we all were being introduced to the audiences as JPA SCHOLARS – the SELECTED and the BRILLIANT one. I’m not trying to exaggerate the situation but it was so true about my two teammate’s presentation skills. Everything was FABULOUS!

Speaking about this UN Peace Proposal presentation, it reminds me of my English assessment which I had just done it on last Thursday. @.@.I couldn’t finish writing my speech within the 40minutes time allocated for this assessment. Though we were given two days time to prepare, I still can’t perform well during the assessment as I’m not convinced with the ideas that I had come out with when I was preparing for it at home. I knew I did badly for the speech writing and so did the previous and previous previous assessments. I’m quite worried for my English test. It’d already been one year I had been taught and trained to think fast and critically but I still can’t see much improvement in my performance. I don’t know what else I can do except to keep learning and learning and learning. I’ve been anticipating for the time where I can finally think fast and critically to come but I don’t know whether I would be able to make it before the real exam. About 5 more weeks, it will be the mock exam already. I’m worried, worried for not being able to pass my EALD paper, and MOST IMPORTANTLY, worried for DISAPPOINTING my parents, my family members, my relatives and everyone who have put high expectation on me. I can’t imagine the moment where I’ve to tell them I’d failed my EALD. To them, I’m a bright student who excels in every subject. I’m quite confident with most of the subjects that I’m taking now except EALD. For subjects such as Physics, Chemistry, Math, at least when I did badly in the quizzes, tests, I will know which topic I’m weak in and I can put more effort in improving my understand about those topics, then I will be able to strike. But this can never be applied to the language subjects. There’ no specific topics to learn and the things that we are being tested on are so wide. To answer all those questions, we students are required to read a lot and know about a lot of things. I admit I have not been reading much enough but there’s another problem that I encountered, which is, things that come to me will just go away as fast as they come. Knowledge just can’t really stick in my mind and I really have no idea at all why is that so. I have heard of a lot of things but I will never know that they’re actually something that’s quite new and hot until there’s someone told me about that. When I read the newspaper, I will just read and when I finished the whole thing, I wouldn’t be able to tell which news in the newspaper is important. Probably I’d read about it, but I will seldom labeled them as important. Is that because I’m just not concern enough of the current issues or the events that are occurring around me? Frankly speaking, that’s not much interesting news in the daily newspaper that can really grab my attention. I seem like not concern what’s going on around me. I don’t care about what’s the latest phone model, which country has conflict with which country, what’s the latest trend in the fashion industry, which actors or actress have got married. It seems like nothing can really grab my interest to know more about them. Maybe I’m just lazy to read and my low interest towards all this issue makes me feel like I’m so outdated and sometimes, feel like I’m a frog in the well. Talking about technology, while most of the youngsters nowadays are all computer and internet savvy, my knowledge about computer and internet is so little. There’re many things that I don’t know. The only thing that I know is to STUDY AND STUDY AND STUDY. I guess this is also the reason that causes me not having much thing to express and talk about when I’m asked to give my opinion on a specific topic. I would like to learn more. But I don’t know where should I begin from and how should I learn? Sometimes, I will wonder, how actually people who know a lot acquire all those knowledge. Is it from their parents? From their friends? And what actually motivate them to know more about those kinds of stuffs?

Finish the academic part, tension? Stress? Surprisingly, nope! I just feel worry! Let’s change to another topic. It has been a month time I am being scandal for being very close to a guy from the other class. There’s rumour going around and it not only spreads among our coursemates but also among the lecturers too. Haha! Yea! It’s true that we both are really close to each other, to the extent that we can share about a lot of things together. We share stories, problems, jokes and thoughts and we crap a lot when we are together too. We do share the same interest too which is MUSIC. We fight for academic excellence together and we are always being supportive to each other. It’s truly happy when I am together with him but between us, there’s no such thing called couple as the rumour says but we are indeed very very good friend. I’m glad to have him as my good friend. It’s not easy someone who shares the same interest, and most importantly, the way of thinking as me. I’m glad that I manage to find one and now I’m no longer the weird one.

After I come to KL, I do have another good friend before I met him. Though we have quite different way of thinking, but our passion towards music and arts is enough to bond us together. Singing is something that we will do together most frequently. We both have quite different way of thinking but since we know each other well, we will always try the best to tolerate with each others. She has been very kind to me. Though she get emo quite often and sometimes I do disagree with the way she thinks, we are still good friends and yesterday and today, she did a very great job in reassuring me by accompanying me to the UN Peace Proposal rehearsal at McD and the real presentation at Kota Damansara today. I was really happy that she did so because her presence makes me feel relax after all the tension I get thinking about the presentation. Thank you! You’re really kind to me though sometimes, I’m quite mean to you – not bordering you, not sensitive enough to the change in your emotions and feelings, and not concern enough of the problems you face. Thank you! Arigato gozaimasu.

(edition will be made later....now busy busy busy. sorry for the incovenience)

Malaysian Philharmony Orchestra (MPO)

"Wind Ensemble at Large", this was the title of concert that i had attended yesterday night. This was the FIRST concert that i had ever attended in my whole life and the SECOND time i entered MPO. Attending concert in MPO has been one of my wishes since i knew MPO is located in KLCC and yesterday, FINALLY, my dream came true. Thanks to German lecturer, Christine and Raphael!

As the title "Wind Ensemble" implied, the whole concert were featured by woodwinds instruments. Flute, clarinet and piccolo are some of the examples of woodwind instruments. For all these years, i only got the opportunity to listen to the artificial sound of these instruments through electronic organ. Sometimes, i doubted whether these musical instruments really exist for not much people learn to play them, talk about them or even know about them. Therefore, it really opened my eyes when i saw all these instruments with my own eyes. I got the opportunity to listen to the original sound projected from these instruments, to observe how they actually look like (size, shape) and the most importantly, how the musicians skillfully danced their fingers on them and coordinated with one another perfectly to produce marvalous, fantastic music.

For the one-hour concert, all the music was rather slow and traquilising. For some, these music were actually putting them into sleep! BUT, that's the point! If the music was not well-played, they would never had the calming effect on the audiences. Get it? The concert started with a few woodwind instruments and gradually, the number and the type of instruments was increased, making the whole concert more and more grand. Witnessing how the musicians played, it seemed easy but actually, NOT AT ALL, not even for the well-trained musicians. But, they really put all their effort in presenting the best performance for us. It was clearly reflected on their facial expression, especially the irresistable broad smile that popped out on their face when they successfully played the most challenging part of the music. Super super big applause roared through the hall everytime after they finish playing and everyone truly enjoy the music!

The journey back to student house was another BLAST of the day! Songs by songs, mainly Superjuniors' songs, rocked the van and almost every spirit in the van. It's music again that spiced the atmospehere up! We all LOVE MUSIC so much! At that moment, how i wish i the van would never reach its destination.

All in all, it was truly a wonderful day for me!

An Expected Yet Unexpected Friday Night!

Just as what Raphael had informed me earlier on, he came to student house to have a karaoke session with me, Sook Yan and Xing Jing. It should be just four of us but it ended up with 15 people gathered in my house which include Sook Yan, Li Chi, Meng Min, WinJing, Jia Min, Sieng Sieng, Ciku, Wei Nee, Magrate, Raphael, JJ, Dao Zhen, Kah Wai, TBC and I. It was such an unexpected FRIDAY NIGHT RENDEZVOUS!

JJ and Dao Zhen came over here to discuss EALD assignment with Meng Min, Li Chi and Winjing. Raphael came over here with the purpose of having karaoke session here whereas for the others, I really didn’t know why they suddenly flocked to my house but later I was told that they came here to borrow formal wear. It was like an Open House Day! The living room was crowded with people and there’re lots of activities going on. With a few of us singing out loud (shouting out loud) in front of my laptop, a few of us gossiping about others or probably stalking people and a few of us watching other groups drama production, the entire house was filled with happy and merry voices!

Due to too many speakers being turned to full volume at the same time, karaoke session had to be cancelled. It was then being replaced with fantastic badminton match and emotional heart-to-heart talk which I truly enjoyed. These two sessions were again, the unexpected one and they did successfully triggered the notion of having time to stop tickling at that moment again. How good if that night can last forever… Once again, I missed it so much! However, this might not be able to apply to others because everyone got so emo when we talked about relationship. Couples can never be friends again after breaking up? Is this true? I don’t know but it sounds true…Love love love. It’s such a complicated things yet everyone lusts for it.

What a wonderful Friday night! I’m looking forward to the next gathering but will it be as memorable as last weekend and yesterday one? Hopefully…

Sorry, I Can't Make Thing Change!

Isn’t it bad if we do something like this to X?

I shouldn’t have asked this because the answer is definitely YES. BUT, what can I do to prevent it from happening again? Though everything already settled by Y (poor Y) and X already agrees with our decision, I still feel bad about it.

From adversary, we turn into friends and we forgive each others’ wrong deed. We seek help from each other when we encounter problems and X never hesitates to offer X’s helping hand. BUT when the similar situation reappears, we still repeat the same mistake. If I were X, I will definitely feel disappointed. I know very well how X feels but what can I do to ease thing out? Nothing, nothing and NOTHING except if I’m willing to sacrifice.

Should I? X had a bad record. Once bitten twice shy. Everyone takes a lesson from last experience but somehow don’t know why, I JUST CAN'T! Always giving chances to others to change makes me seem like a kind person, but it will pull me into troubles one after another if there’s no appreciation towards the chances I had given. It’s always like this.

Should or shouldn’t? Battle commences but eventually I choose to escape. Sorry! I don’t have the courage to make things change. I’m SELFISH! Sorry.

Sad

Eald assessment was over. Relieved? Happy? SHOULD BE but knowing that only rubbish I had just dump it to Mr.Derick, my mood for the rest of the day was terribly spoilt. The task given to us just now was actually to nominalise a non-academic speech to an academic speech. But I had NEVER been taught about this before until yesterday. It’s something SO NEW, SO FRESH to me! How can you expect me to master the skill of nominalising a text in 24 hours time? Somemore it was going to be counted in my cumulative marks. Haiz…How can I be not sad? I got only 71 for Semester 1 EALD. Haizzzz…the first task in Semester 2 had definitely being ruined. Is there still a hope for me to achieve a better grade for EALD? Haizzzzz….

… …
… …
… …

The depressing mood should be switched off now. This is what we called detachment! Hopefully, I will enjoy the karaoke session later. Cheer!

Smile For You

I found this from an e-mail and i think it is quite meaningful. Let's read it!

Smile For You

Smiling is infectious. You catch it like the flu.
When someone smiled at me today, I started smiling too.
I passed around the corner and someone saw my grin. When he smiled,
I realised I'd passed it on to him. I thought about that smile then
I realised its worth. A single smile, just like mine could travel round the earth.
So, if you feel a smile begin, don't leave it undetected.
Let's start and epidemic quick,
and get the world infected!

So, SMILE but smile WITH YOUR HEART!

Heart-Brain Battle

Again
It's the battle between Heart and Brain
But always
It's the Heart that says yes and the Brain says no
Both of them are equally kind
This makes the battle continues forever
I will regret if I follow the Brain's words
But it hurts too if I disobey
What should I do?
There's no way to escape
And no one can help
I must pick one
And be brave to bare the consequences

Cupcakes + Karaoke Session

Last Saturday (05.06.10) was truly a FANTASTIC, WONDERFUL and AWESOME day for me...I baked banana cupcakes together with my friends (Sook Yan, Xing Jing and Raphael). Can you imagine that? We were baking cupcakes in this extremely not well-equipped student house. Bake cupcakes was actually Raphael's idea. It sounded so ridiculous to me when he first proposed the idea to us but eventually, we had really done a great job and i truly enjoyed it.

After going to and back between Old Wing and New Wing just to find all the baking ingredients and apparatus, after carrying the heavy microwave all the way from student house 92 to student house 194, after calling for aid from Raphael's mum for guidance on what to put first, next and so on, after phoning Raphael's mum again to ask for reason for our failure products, after putting cupcake one by one into the microwave just to find the correct temperature and time required to bake a perfectly look cupcakes, FINALLY, we SUCCEED. Frankly speaking, they don't look as appealing as the cupcakes displayed in the bakery shop at all but the taste was definitely there and they were nutritional and full of potassium and fibre which is definitely good for your health.

Just before we finish baking all the cupcakes, the notion of having karaoke suddenly popped up in our mind. Who said we must go to karaoke box to have karaoke session? With Kuwo Programme, karaoke-ing at home was not a problem at all. Songs after songs were being played and we sang and sang and sang. Chinese songs...English songs...Cantonese songs...whatever songs that we wanted to sing, we just clicked on them and sang! Following the rythm of the songs, we swayed our bodies to left and to right; WOW! It was really amazing and i was so excited that i really hoped that time will stop tickling at that moment. We had three-hour karaoke session but that was SERIOUSLY NOT ENOUGH. I really hope that we could continue singing but we couldn't because Raphael had to return to hostel already. With reluctant, we ended the karaoke session.

Sook Yan, Heng Hee and I walked Raphael to student house 90 to return the microwave and let Zaf sent him back to hostel. Enroute to student house 90, the images of four of us (Sook Yan, Xing Jing, Raphael and I) gathering around my laptop, singing the songs that all of us were familiar with were still reflecting in my mind. I still can hear our sweet and harmony voices lingering in my ears. Why can't we just sing without having to stop? I really MISSED THAT MOMENT very very much.

Around 1.00 midnight, Raphael had returned to hostel but Sook Yan, Heng Hee and I were still staying at student houise 92. TBC and Ciku were watching horror movies and Kah Wai was onlining. We chatted for a while and don't know how, someone started the singing session again. Once again, i got ectremely excited and i was in cloud nine. It was the SECOND BLAST of that day but this second singing session was a little bit different from the previous one. Instead of popular songs, we sang children songs and also songs of our parents' time. Surprisingly, we still can remember the lyrics for children songs very well. With each of us contributed some songs (actually quite a lot), it's really unbelieveable that there're actually quite a lot of songs that we had listened too when we were just small kids. More importantly, i realised that quite a lot of us actually love music, love singing and can sing very well. We forced our mind to think of any songs that we had listened to and shared them with everyone. We got really excited when we can sense the songs were coming and when it finally BURST through our mind, PoOoOFFff!!! A sense of victory engulfed us and swang us up to the cool crisp air! It was really FANTASTIC!

What a wonderful Saturday i had for last weekend. This will become a historical day for me as I never felt so happy, contented and excited before. I can never forget about the moment we had spent together. Heartfelt thanks to Sook Yan, Xing Jing, Raphael, Heng Hee, Kah Wai, TBC and Ciku. However, i am afraid that this feeling will gradually fade away. In fact, it certainly will. The few following mornings after Saturday, when i flased back all the events that occured on that day, i wondered whether it's just a dream. It makes me feel like i was in heaven but i can't believe that it was real actually.

Happy

Things that we do not see do not mean they don't exist.

We just need time to discover them.

I see no dicrimination and prejudice in them

but only fair and equality.

I'm happy to know them

because I'm no longer the different one.

Another Meaning for Failure

Often, we feel sad, dissapoint when we fail to achieve our targets. Failures gradually kill our confidence and cause us to find no strength to move on. Sometimes, i fail too and i definitely know how it feels like. It's hurting and most of the time, people find it hard to get up and fight again. I used to be one of them but not now anymore. Last time, after i failed, I gave up on learning after even it's something i'm fond in but now, i had realised that what a big mistake i had actually done. I shouldn't have given ways for failures to defeat my spirit because they are actually there to tell me, there're still things that i still don't know. There're things that i haven't learnt and I still have the space for improvement. So, never give up!

"Nobody trips over mountains. It is the small pebble that causes you to stumble. Pass all the pebbles in your path and you will find you have crossed the mountain. "~Author Unknown

"You can't go through life quitting everything. If you're going to achieve anything, you've got to stick with something. "

I Found You, Music Score!

I just discovered a website to download music scores. Woah! Super excited now. Thanks to Sook Yan and Yen Shiang. I had been searching for this kind of website for so long but can never find one. A thousand times of thank you to both of them again! Just in case anyone of you is interested in finding any music score, this is the website http://www.gangqinpu.com/. Enjoy!

No Boring Three-day Holidays

Doing math correction without thinking about math, tasting ABC soup specially prepared by Meng Min and WinJing without feeling its sweetness and warmness, lying on the bed without thinking of sleeping, eventually I made my decision to stay at student house for the last three-day holidays despite the high probability that I will be all alone. Meng Min, Li Chi, Yen Shiang and Sook Yan went back to their hometown, Jia Min went to Singapore, Xing Jing stayed with her brother at Sunway, Heng Hee might be going to Shen’s aunty house and Winjing would follow her mum to stay in hotel starting from Saturday. No one would be in Student house. I would have to do everything alone – sleep alone, do homework alone, prepare 3 meals a day alone, play alone, watch TV alone……Yet, I still choose student house because i was tired of travelling.

However, miracles occurred! Heng Hee’s plan to Shen’s aunty house had cancelled, so finally I had a companion. All the help that I had been searching for to reduce my boredom and loneliness staying at student house could now all be cancelled. Anyway, still thanks them a lot for agreeing to keep me accompany. Thanks to CiKu, Li Chi, Meng Min and Raphael. You all are really helpful and kind to me.

My supposedly very boring holidays ended up to become fruitful holidays. On Friday, I had completed my chemistry exercises together with WinJing. We had even watched two movies together, which were “Hachiko” and “The Old Dogs”. “Hachiko” was a movie based on the true story of a Japanese dog faithfully waiting for the return of his master until the day it died whereas “The Old Dogs” is, I think it could be considered as a comedy. Both movies had heartwarming storylines and I highly recommended you all to watch “Hachiko”. I bet you will have your tears streaming down through your cheeks like tap water throughout the movie coz' that's what happened to me.

On Saturday and Sunday, I went to MPH Bookstore in One Utama Shopping Complex. The first day I went there together with Heng Hee, Sieng Sieng and Ciku who join our study group later. It’s such a condusive place to study. With soft classical music accompanying me, there’s no stress at all to study there but I almost succumbed to the sleeping notion in my head due to the cool and comfortable environment there. I had fell in love with it on the first day I went there, that’s why I paid a visit to it again on the next day, but for a different purpose- to read novels. One thing that is so amazing about the MPH bookstore is it can also be a library too, probably better than library because most of the new arrivals can be found there. There’re also sofas catered especially for customers who would like to read books that they couldn’t afford to buy or books that only a small part of it is useful to them. There're an assortment of books and magazines available there and I can access to them, sit there until i finish it without having any staffs eyeing on you as if you are going to steal the book. I think the whole idea of providing this kind of facility is good because it’s not just a bookstore that run for the purpose of earning as much profits as it can, but promote and encourage the habit of reading. I really really really love MPH now!

Poems

Yesterday during EALD class, I can actually see that all my classmates have really high potential in becoming a poet in the future. Their poems are unique in their own ways as all of them have different way of writing it. These are some that I found them quite interesting and I would like to share them with you all but I highly recommend you all to ask someone to cite them out for you with the correct intonation as they sound better when you listen to them compare to you read them silently in your heart.


A Victim of Vanity

Written by : Ch’ng Dao Zhen

They were born
As children who only knew mummy
And went all around and simply wee-wee
But sadly they live in a metropolitan ccity
'cos after a quarter of a century
She’s driving a Mini
Yet yearning for a Nissan 370Z
He’s in his Audi
But keeps thinking of a Lamborghini

She’s sipping a cuppa cappuccino
And he’s staring at his espresso
But they wished they’d save ten dollars or so
By having a two-buck kopi o

He’s just got his meager salary
But after fifteen minutes or twenty
He’d spend half that on the latest Armani
She’s just got a credit card from Citi
But in minutes counting less than sixty
She’s maxed in out from an LV
With a few Prada and Gucci

They wonder if it’s necessary
To load themselves with all that luxury
And get into a financial quandary
So they sigh when they’re lonely
If not because of vanity
Life and money
Can be so simple and easy

This sounds great isn’t it? He managed to produce such a nice piece of work just within 40 minutes time. This is really cool! As for me, I think the poem below will suit me the best.

I really Can’t Seem to Write a Poem

Written by : Lim Li Chi

I cracked my head for a whole day long
With the pen in my hand
And the desk lamp switched on
But the paper is still empty
And my mind is going crazy
With alphabets and words
I guess writing is not so easy
Should I be happy?
Should I be sick?
Should I be in love or should I be realistic?
What should I be in this poem of mine?
Oh, could someone be so kind as to tell me who am I?
So, this is what it feels like to be writing a poem
My brain is not working as I summoned
Oh how I wished and wished and wished and wished
That something would pop out all of a sudden
But I know that miracles don’t really happen
And all these bring only to one conclusion
…
I really can’t seem to write a poem.

A big applause for everyone!