Failing won't be that bad, trust me.

Though I did learn something from it, it doesn’t mean they can not fail me for not being able to fulfil the requirement. This isn’t the time to be optimistic anymore because there’s really a big chance that I will fail and being optimistic will only mean I’m trying to deny the possibility of failing.


What’s so scarrying about failing? Actually, I’m not really afraid of it. Failing just simply means I fail to learn what I’m supposed to learn from the course and it’s reasonable enough to be asked to redo the course because I haven’t get what they want me to get from the course. Restudy the course is not that bad actually because I am given a chance to make use of what I supposed I have learnt last time to design a space or a building again. How about dealing with friends, family and my relatives? Somehow, I don’t feel the shame of letting them know I had actually failed. I’m quite sure they won’t judge me for that but even if they do, I’m fine with it because I believe failing for once or even more than once doesn’t mean I’m a failure. I just fail to learn what they want me to learn in the given period of time. What about all the effort that I had put in in developing the project for the whole semester? A lot of people think that the amount of effort should tally with the result they get but for me, it’s fine to be the opposite, which is after putting in a lot of effort in doing something, result still bad. I’m more concern about getting things right. Having to do lots of work doesn’t freak me out as long as I know the reason I’m doing them.

Right now, I’m trying to get myself well-prepared to be told I have failed but the worry is still there. I don’t wish to tell anyone because there’s nothing they can do to make me feel better. It’s only until the result is out, which is next week, then only I will feel relieve. I don’t wish to tell partly also because I don’t need any sympathy from anyone. Failing in this course doesn’t equal to failure in my life. I’m certain I have been growing up bit by bit throughout the course. I’m getting stronger.