12.17.2010

Guilty

I am overwhelmed by the sense of guilty everytime i sit in my room doing my own things, either online or read storybooks.

"One is watching movie, one is playing games, one is onlining and we both watch TV!"

"We both don't know how to online and use computer, so we have no choice but to stare at the television for the whole night. "

Though they said in in a very casual manner and with broad smile on their faces, I know they are signalling something, something that has been bordering me since the day i discovered it. I did do something to overcome this problem. I chatted more with them. I tried to make conversation with them. I watched news together with them and I gave my comments and point of views on what's happening around. BUT I don't think all these are enough. They still feel the same way.

The worst thing now is, I seem to be the only one who realise about this problem and trying to make a change. I'm tired to do it all alone. he is too innocent to recognise this as a problem while He, I have no idea whether he dunoe or he just pretends not knowing anything.

I feel guilty for being part of the cause of this problem. He's sad. I'm not certain about this but at least if i were him, i will feel sad and disappointed. Though sad and disappointed, he still continue to shower us with love and care.

This family is lack of UNITY.

I wish upon the star, one day things will change~

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