Should or Shouldn't?

I was asked to go for a movie “The New Moon” tonight. This time, I will be joining friends from art class and also accounting class too. It sounded great as there’ll be a huge group of people going for mid-night show! Everyone was very excited to watch this romantic show but I’m not.

I love watching movie in the cinema but there’s not really any specific kind of movie that I like to watch the most. The same thing goes to “The New Moon” show. Watching this movie will not bring great happiness for me. I am easily amused by simple thing and also easily touched by simple act but at the same time, whether it is a happy or sad event, it will easily sneak out from my mind too. Therefore, happiness and sadness will never last long for me. While everyone was excitedly discussing about tonight show, I was considering about the transport problem. They planned to walk to One Utama at 12 midnight. Doesn’t it sound dangerous even though we were walking in a large group? If we take taxi, then the fare would be doubled as it’s already over 12. Wow! It would be very expensive if I join them for the mid-night show (plus the expenses on movie ticket).

So, now the case is if I go, I have to spend money but no guarantee that this movie will leave a mark in my mind. So, why I should I go? I shouldn’t go but I am afraid of rejecting their invitation. I would be pouring cold water on them if I suddenly said No, I am not joining!and I am afraid that they will think that I’m stingy. But, I feel sorry to my daddy mummy if I spend too much money on entertainment. Daddy is working so hard to support my family daily expenditure. He earns the money but he uses them sparingly for himself but not his children. He buys anything that we ask for even though they are expensive. I don’t want him to be so stingy to himself. I wish that I can spend the money for watching a movie together with him and my other family members. I feel sorry for them if I am squandering while they are suffering (even though I know they never think so).

Besides, watching movie had been a luxury for me though it is not really a great luxury. When I was in secondary school, I only went for movie at most once in a month and sometimes not even once per month. The same goes to taking meals in fast food shops or any restaurants. But since I started to enroll in KBU, entering a restaurant for lunch seems like a normal thing to me. Have I changed my lifestyle or should I change my lifestyle since I am staying in a modern city now? I always talk about budget and money before buying anything. I am limiting myself to do something I like but I never feel sad after that. It’s only when I am losing control of myself in term of money then only I will feel bad. This is what I am feeling now. I know I have gone for outing for many times recently yet I still do it. I feel bad for wasting money but the question is, is it really many times that I have gone out recently? Is this the frequency that I should have or have I been overly pampering myself? I am confused.