Against

Eventually, I had made up my mind not to go to send my friend off to Melbourne. I struggled to make the decision because I can see what others will say and more importantly, I care about what they say. “What kind of friend, are you?” “This will be the last time you see him, how come you don’t want to go?”. I am CERTAINLY not that kind of FRIEND. I am NOT a bad person. I am NOT. I am NOT. I really treat him as a FRIEND.


I had a few reasons here for not going to the airport. The first reason sounds really absurd, I know but I’m really trying very hard to save money. I know I know. It’s only $10 ++. It’s really a small amount of money but I can mean a lot to me since I’m on tight budget.

Another reason is that I’m trying to avoid the awkward feeling of dunno-what-to-say to my friend in the airport. I don’t want to purposely find some topic to talk about just to feel the silence. I don’t want to force myself to say what I am supposed to say. I prefer it to come naturally.

This whole thing is really a small matter only but it can just make me EMO. I’m going against something that everyone will expect someone will do when a friend is going to leave. It makes me feel terrible about myself especially when I know what others will say about me but I would rather not fit in then doing anything that I don’t wish to do so that next time when I do it, people will know that I really want to do it and not just to follow the crowd.