6/5/2009, i am back from ns...quite sad actually because i need to seperate with my friends in the kem...friends who had accompany me everyday, every hour, every minute and every second...we spend a lot of time together and we take care of each other throughout the programme....the day before i leave the kem, i manage to let my friends write something on my plkn notebook....i cry when i read what they have written in the book....i always thought that i am not important for them....i always think that without me, they wun feel anything....my absence won't bring sadness to them...BUT, after reading their letter, then only i know actually i am important for them....
20/3/2009 is the day when i first stepped into the kem....about one and the half month i spend my time together with them....sometimes i feel uneasy joining their conversation....their chatting topic don't suit me and i feel like nothing to talk...occasionally, they will gossip about others...they complain about someone's look....they complain about someone's hair...they complain and complain and complain...i don't like to complain about others especially about their look....due to that reason, i feel uncomfortable when everytime they start to complain...one day, i really cannot stand it and i choose to express my fed up feeling on them by writing diary...
two days before i come back to kuantan, one of them had read my diary...i had told her so many times not to read my diary...but the more i say no, the more she feel curious about what have i written in my diary...so, she read, she told everyone about that....and everyone knows i don't like them...
one day before i go home, one of them ask me do i hate them and am i not happy when i am together with them?since she is so straight forward, so i just answer her yes!but no really hate...just feel disgusted on their attitude...they just accept what i said...
i am worry after finding out that they know i don't like then complain other ppl....i am worry they won't tatlk to me anymore....i am worry they will pretend to be good in front of me, not showing me the real face of them....i am so so so worry and in the end, bravely, i ask them will they do so on me....surprisingly, they said they won't and my tears straight away roll down on my cheeks...at the same time, friend that had read my diary said sorry to me...she hope that i can forgive her for 'tresspassing" my privacy....i never thought that they will not feel angry of me for disliking them....but they admit, they really feel shock after knowing about that news....they never thought that i will have that kind of negative feeling on them....
since that moment, i never feel uneasy spending my last day together with them...in fact, that is the happiest time that i have together with them...i am so high for the whole day and i talk a lot on that day....i talk nonsence with them...i disturb them for fun....i become very active and still the same words...i never feel uneasy anymore.....
that night, they sing song to me...JAY CHOW--GEI WO YI SHOU GE DE SHI JIAN...KENANGAN TERINDAH...PENG YOU....i cry....the other friend who will leave the kem on the same day cried too....we feel reluctant to seperate with them....we feel sad....but no choice, we need to study...we must leave the kem....that night too, one of them who can SHUFFLE very well showed her talent to us...actually she don't really want to shuffle...i can see that on her face....but eventually she still do it just because of me and my friend.....that night too, we countdown for one of the friend birthday....
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