Dinner with my housemates ( 27.07.11)

After the American housemate of mine moved out on July, a girl from London took over her room. Sophia is her name and she is so kind and friendly. I know this is a bit too soon to say this, but things really change after she moved in. Well, at least for this very first week. The kitchen is cleaner and tidier now. The house is livelier and you know what have we done tonight? My three housemates and I prepare, cook and have dinner together. This is the first ever activity that my housemates and I had done together since the early of the year. This is just so rare! But it was really fun. And a barbeque is coming next. Next Saturday. Most probably.


We were chatting while taking our dinner. They are the one did the talking almost all the time and I was the listener, just as I wish. I think they do realised that I didn’t talk much but the good thing is that they didn’t try to make me talk. They talk about all kind of stuffs – car renting, poisonous animals, beer, wine, pub, clubs, dance, work, none of the topic will provide me the opportunity to share my experience with them but I do enjoy listening to their stories. I gotta train myself to listen better and listening to their stories just make me suddenly truly realised that the westerners lifestyle is just so so so different from the Asians or at least Malaysians. Their life is about party, clubs, pubs. They go around the city or anywhere trying to search for good beer and good bar.

I had a wonderful night together with my housemates tonight. I should be able to finish my research tonight if I didn’t sit so long at the dining table listening to their stories but it’s definitely worth the time to do. I gotta know more about my housemates without having me to do the talking and I gotta know more about westerners. =)

Against

Eventually, I had made up my mind not to go to send my friend off to Melbourne. I struggled to make the decision because I can see what others will say and more importantly, I care about what they say. “What kind of friend, are you?” “This will be the last time you see him, how come you don’t want to go?”. I am CERTAINLY not that kind of FRIEND. I am NOT a bad person. I am NOT. I am NOT. I really treat him as a FRIEND.


I had a few reasons here for not going to the airport. The first reason sounds really absurd, I know but I’m really trying very hard to save money. I know I know. It’s only $10 ++. It’s really a small amount of money but I can mean a lot to me since I’m on tight budget.

Another reason is that I’m trying to avoid the awkward feeling of dunno-what-to-say to my friend in the airport. I don’t want to purposely find some topic to talk about just to feel the silence. I don’t want to force myself to say what I am supposed to say. I prefer it to come naturally.

This whole thing is really a small matter only but it can just make me EMO. I’m going against something that everyone will expect someone will do when a friend is going to leave. It makes me feel terrible about myself especially when I know what others will say about me but I would rather not fit in then doing anything that I don’t wish to do so that next time when I do it, people will know that I really want to do it and not just to follow the crowd.