It has really been a long time since I last updated my blog. Basically, that’s just because there’re not much events that’s interesting enough to trigger my mood to blog until after the short but frightening presentation that I had just gone through this morning.
This is going to be a very long post, so please be patient when reading it and HOPEFULLY, you can finally make it until THE END.
The presentation that I had done this morning is actually about the UN 2010 Peace Proposal. It’s an amazing proposal and I can say that I almost agree with whatever ideas or messages that the proposal’s writer trying to convey to us. My job there this morning is to present, or rather to share the messages that I had learnt from this wonderful piece of proposal. It’s quite a scarring event for me as I’m not used to having presentation, some more now I had to present to the public who mostly are adults and college/university students. It almost drives me crazy yesterday as I was so afraid that I will do badly for the presentation. Presentation is already something that I’m not used to do, some more I have to use proper, marvelous English to present out my ideas to the public. It’s quite a big challenge for me and with my two teammates who have 200% fluency in English and fantastic presentation skills, I truly felt pressured. What more when we all were being introduced to the audiences as JPA SCHOLARS – the SELECTED and the BRILLIANT one. I’m not trying to exaggerate the situation but it was so true about my two teammate’s presentation skills. Everything was FABULOUS!
Speaking about this UN Peace Proposal presentation, it reminds me of my English assessment which I had just done it on last Thursday. @.@.I couldn’t finish writing my speech within the 40minutes time allocated for this assessment. Though we were given two days time to prepare, I still can’t perform well during the assessment as I’m not convinced with the ideas that I had come out with when I was preparing for it at home. I knew I did badly for the speech writing and so did the previous and previous previous assessments. I’m quite worried for my English test. It’d already been one year I had been taught and trained to think fast and critically but I still can’t see much improvement in my performance. I don’t know what else I can do except to keep learning and learning and learning. I’ve been anticipating for the time where I can finally think fast and critically to come but I don’t know whether I would be able to make it before the real exam. About 5 more weeks, it will be the mock exam already. I’m worried, worried for not being able to pass my EALD paper, and MOST IMPORTANTLY, worried for DISAPPOINTING my parents, my family members, my relatives and everyone who have put high expectation on me. I can’t imagine the moment where I’ve to tell them I’d failed my EALD. To them, I’m a bright student who excels in every subject. I’m quite confident with most of the subjects that I’m taking now except EALD. For subjects such as Physics, Chemistry, Math, at least when I did badly in the quizzes, tests, I will know which topic I’m weak in and I can put more effort in improving my understand about those topics, then I will be able to strike. But this can never be applied to the language subjects. There’ no specific topics to learn and the things that we are being tested on are so wide. To answer all those questions, we students are required to read a lot and know about a lot of things. I admit I have not been reading much enough but there’s another problem that I encountered, which is, things that come to me will just go away as fast as they come. Knowledge just can’t really stick in my mind and I really have no idea at all why is that so. I have heard of a lot of things but I will never know that they’re actually something that’s quite new and hot until there’s someone told me about that. When I read the newspaper, I will just read and when I finished the whole thing, I wouldn’t be able to tell which news in the newspaper is important. Probably I’d read about it, but I will seldom labeled them as important. Is that because I’m just not concern enough of the current issues or the events that are occurring around me? Frankly speaking, that’s not much interesting news in the daily newspaper that can really grab my attention. I seem like not concern what’s going on around me. I don’t care about what’s the latest phone model, which country has conflict with which country, what’s the latest trend in the fashion industry, which actors or actress have got married. It seems like nothing can really grab my interest to know more about them. Maybe I’m just lazy to read and my low interest towards all this issue makes me feel like I’m so outdated and sometimes, feel like I’m a frog in the well. Talking about technology, while most of the youngsters nowadays are all computer and internet savvy, my knowledge about computer and internet is so little. There’re many things that I don’t know. The only thing that I know is to STUDY AND STUDY AND STUDY. I guess this is also the reason that causes me not having much thing to express and talk about when I’m asked to give my opinion on a specific topic. I would like to learn more. But I don’t know where should I begin from and how should I learn? Sometimes, I will wonder, how actually people who know a lot acquire all those knowledge. Is it from their parents? From their friends? And what actually motivate them to know more about those kinds of stuffs?
Finish the academic part, tension? Stress? Surprisingly, nope! I just feel worry! Let’s change to another topic. It has been a month time I am being scandal for being very close to a guy from the other class. There’s rumour going around and it not only spreads among our coursemates but also among the lecturers too. Haha! Yea! It’s true that we both are really close to each other, to the extent that we can share about a lot of things together. We share stories, problems, jokes and thoughts and we crap a lot when we are together too. We do share the same interest too which is MUSIC. We fight for academic excellence together and we are always being supportive to each other. It’s truly happy when I am together with him but between us, there’s no such thing called couple as the rumour says but we are indeed very very good friend. I’m glad to have him as my good friend. It’s not easy someone who shares the same interest, and most importantly, the way of thinking as me. I’m glad that I manage to find one and now I’m no longer the weird one.
After I come to KL, I do have another good friend before I met him. Though we have quite different way of thinking, but our passion towards music and arts is enough to bond us together. Singing is something that we will do together most frequently. We both have quite different way of thinking but since we know each other well, we will always try the best to tolerate with each others. She has been very kind to me. Though she get emo quite often and sometimes I do disagree with the way she thinks, we are still good friends and yesterday and today, she did a very great job in reassuring me by accompanying me to the UN Peace Proposal rehearsal at McD and the real presentation at Kota Damansara today. I was really happy that she did so because her presence makes me feel relax after all the tension I get thinking about the presentation. Thank you! You’re really kind to me though sometimes, I’m quite mean to you – not bordering you, not sensitive enough to the change in your emotions and feelings, and not concern enough of the problems you face. Thank you! Arigato gozaimasu.
(edition will be made later....now busy busy busy. sorry for the incovenience)
